jitney Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Monday is like a math problem. Add irritation, subtract sleep, multiply problems & divide happiness. I hate Mondays!
←Rate | 05-06-2013 13:46 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just heard Beyonce might come back out on the field and sing, "♫♪♫ Can you pay yo Bills?, Yo Stadium Bills....♫♪♫ "
←Rate | 02-03-2013 21:16 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Welp ladies valentines day is over. Time for the men to go back to being a-holes again.
←Rate | 02-15-2012 08:39 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear paranoid ppl who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, if you do find one, what's your plan?
←Rate | 07-17-2012 13:56 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Her: Your Not listening!!!! Me: How can I listen to you if you dont say the things I want to hear...Woman????
←Rate | 12-14-2012 20:31 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon since when did "Thats above my pay grade...." has become the acceptable answer at Mcdonalds?
←Rate | 11-14-2013 18:50 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Summer.....where are you going???Why are you leaving me??? Whyyyyyyyy.... All these back to school pics...and and and...school supplies.....and .....school zone lights are flashing again....
←Rate | 08-19-2017 18:11 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I had a penny everytime that I thought about you, my pants would fall down.
←Rate | 03-06-2017 09:33 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I really, really, really enjoy being off of work.
←Rate | 11-20-2012 14:11 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Spiderman isnt the only one that gets sticky hands after using the Web all day...... If you know what I mean ;)
←Rate | 09-08-2012 20:28 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm so ghetto.... I had lights and water bill in my name before the age of 3..
←Rate | 07-23-2014 00:45 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon LADIES: If you're at the Fair and you're ready to go, start talking to the hottest chick there too. He'll find you immediately.
←Rate | 03-26-2013 21:54 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but to catch them, you must first become a Master Baiter. :))
←Rate | 01-15-2012 04:13 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon So when those annoying Student/Bill Debt collectors call and ask me to verify my information and this call maybe recorded for training purposes....I usually tell em my number recently changed, n give them some other debt collector's number! problem solved
←Rate | 06-23-2014 15:44 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Oh great now the bill collector is blowing up my phone cuz he thought we got accidentally disconnected....
←Rate | 11-27-2013 16:15 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dr. Ruth, the world renowned sex doctor says, dont focus on the sagging, or the belly fat, or the wobbly neck, focus on the sensation after the age of 50.
←Rate | 09-12-2012 15:35 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Danggggit! Lets just put Louisana on Craiglist! Maybe the French can buy it back.
←Rate | 08-29-2012 17:51 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I kinda wish I was sober enough to remember what really happened. One moment we was having fun, the next thing I knew, its Monday and I'm getting emails..... R.I.P - Saturday & Sunday
←Rate | 11-19-2012 12:20 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon ME: Wanna go out with me? GIRL: I have a boyfriend. Me: I have a test tomorrow. GIRL: And? ME: Sorry, I thought we were naming things we could cheat on
←Rate | 02-19-2012 18:41 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Epidemic: Girls who have really good male best friends, but claims they have no man!
←Rate | 03-22-2013 14:13 by jitney Comments (0)  

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