ff1241 Funny Status Messages

   Am I the only one who thinks that they should be a bracket style tournament for the gangs on Gangland? I would definitely put the DVR to some good use. .

   ♫♫♫ If.. yourrrr happy and you know it share you meds. (clap, clap) If your happy and you know it share you meds. (clap, clap) If your happy and you know it then a pi$$ test will clearly show it. If your happy and you know it share you meds. ♫♫â

   so awesome that "The Most Interesting Man in The World" is jealous.

   Someone make an I-phone app that can tell me what my blood alcohol level is. 

   please don't get your last minute presents from a gas station. If you do rembe Grandma gets the candy or the beef jerky not the condoms. Don't ask me how I know this.

   New game. We go out and get like 20 Tazers and play Tazer tag.

   NOTE: The term "Proper Sense" has now replaced the term "Common Sense" because Common Sense is NOT so common anymore!

   It's a Red Bull kind of day.

   That time after the break up when your driving and the only radio stations you are left with are talk radio and mexican polka.

   You can tell you have been on the road too long when you pull out the key fob that opens up your car doors and keep hitting the button trying to open the front door to the house.

   comment "An acute failure of the victim selection process." next time someone post the video of the fat kid body slaming the little bully

   Because I have a bullhorn and you do not! Your fancy book learnin' should've taught you that the strong do what they want, and the weak endure what they must.

   You know that you work too much when you count hours off and not days off.

   I will not apologize for being awesome.

   Again, I can't hear you, because… I HAVE A BULLHORN

   With the larger amount of stupid people I get to deal with on a daily basis, I thought lobotomies came back in style .

   found out what smoking is good for. Yuppie repellent. I'm now going to invest in a box of cigars.

   I would really hate to be a politician...mostly because I couldn't say "fock you, a55hole" any time that I felt like it. :)

   I need to get a santa suit and walk into the strip club to see what the girls will to do santa to get off the naughty list.

   The one person you would take a bullet for is usually the one behind the gun.