StonerDudee Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm not opposed to manscaping, but I don't see the point of cutting the grass until somebody takes interest in the property.
←Rate | 10-16-2014 19:33 by StonerDudee Comments (1)  


   messageicon I don't understand why Walmart has a problem with me bringing my dog in the store. He's better behaved, smells better, and less likely to take a crap on the floor than 95% of the people here.
←Rate | 08-03-2013 02:28 by StonerDudee Comments (1)  


   messageicon Being an adult is mostly waiting to leave places you didn't want to go to in the first place.
←Rate | 11-17-2014 23:43 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon If beer pong has taught me anything... it's that there's no cool way to chase a ping pong ball.
←Rate | 02-21-2013 13:10 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think its nice my vacuum cleaner has head lights....just in case I wanna wake up in the middle of the night and clean in the dark, or wake up my dog making him think he's getting hit by a train.
←Rate | 11-25-2012 19:16 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I do laundry I throw one sock in the garbage, because I lose sh*t on my own terms.
←Rate | 07-07-2013 23:42 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you’ve gauged huge holes in your ears and don’t keep Oreo cookies in them for snacks then what the hell’s the point man?
←Rate | 07-15-2013 00:52 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon My car doesn't have a passenger airbag but don't worry, if we get in an accident all the McDonalds napkins in the glove box will cushion you
←Rate | 06-16-2014 12:43 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sure, whitepeople can't say the "n-word" but at least we can say phrases like, "Thanks for the warning, Officer" and, "hey dad"
←Rate | 09-11-2014 21:24 by StonerDudee Comments (1)  


   messageicon Febreeze should make underwear.
←Rate | 10-18-2012 20:44 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon The condoms need to be located in the fu*king baby aisle Next to the 30 dollar diapers and 20 dollar formula cans
←Rate | 11-06-2014 21:39 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the greeter at Walmart should apologize to you when you walk in the door.
←Rate | 02-16-2013 11:31 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Beyonce, Rihanna and Katy Perry sent prayers to the victims of Oklahoma. I feel like an idiot now, I only sent money.
←Rate | 05-26-2013 02:40 by StonerDudee Comments (1)  


   messageicon Sure I have my doubts, but Bigfoot doesn't have any pictures of me either.
←Rate | 05-22-2014 14:01 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon The average person has sex 89 times a year. This is gonna be one hell of a week.
←Rate | 12-26-2014 22:07 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't glare at me lady! You're the one who named your kid Marco then yelled his name in this store!
←Rate | 06-13-2012 19:26 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought this Mexican Restaurant was closed because only 1 car was in the parking lot, but it was completely packed inside!
←Rate | 07-08-2013 11:53 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Abstinence makes the arm grow stronger... at least one of them anyway.
←Rate | 10-20-2012 12:15 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Zuckerberg says he wears a grey t-shirt everyday because he doesn't want to waste time on things that don't matter. He runs Facebook.
←Rate | 12-17-2014 20:41 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I want to comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don't wanna have to explain why I'm in your 'Random Party Pics' album at 4am.
←Rate | 07-12-2012 18:29 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  




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