Nunthewizr Funny Status Messages
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45% of the internet is pornography. 55% of the internet is lame.
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Before the internet I used to like people.
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Today is National, "I Really Don't Give a $hit" Day". 92% of FB Users won't post this to their profile status, will you or don't you give a $hit either?
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Very little scares me. So does very big.
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wondering why people with hundreds of friends on FB are spending their time on FB and not with one of them instead.
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Sometimes I wish I could be like Jeff Probst from Survivor. I'd love to walk into a Shift Briefing at work and say,"The Tribe Has Spoken"!!! Then walk over and extinguish their torch and tell them to pack their belongings and get the @#$% out!!!
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Great taco from Taco bell today......with the spoon of meat and all the lettuce I was not sure if it was for eating or smoking!
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Don't think of them as gingers. Think of them as sweet potato people.
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Whenever I select "Next day delivery" for an online purchase, I imagine all these people running around yelling, "Code Red. Code Red!!" and scurrying like crazy.
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Was I the only one creeped out by watching, "The Time Travelers Wife"??? Nude adult male in the woods.....Six year old girl??? Just a little weird for a movie.
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How come some people always think they have to have the last text?
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Man is it cold outside...just want to give a shout out to whoever invented the padded bra...THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!
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Took my Beanie Baby collection to a Pawn Shop today. Really thought they'd be worth a lot more. Back in the safe they go.
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Saw a lady at Walmart wearing those "shape up" shoes. Thought to myself, "Honey....there ain't no shaping that thing up."
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she serious with that outfit? Why doesn't she just paste a "For Sale" sign across her chest?
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Life would be better if squirrels liked sitting on our shoulders. You can’t be sad with a cool squirrel friend on your shoulder.
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Ever try to take a Barbie out of it's packaging??? What, is she going to escape? Is she into bondage?
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I want to date a girl with an accent. Well....maybe just a really slow girl that sounds like she has an accent. I'm not picky:)
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Why do they put slow cashiers on the speedy checkouts?
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Working on the art of the classic "Farmer Blow" technique. Figure I can save a lot of money on tissues with allergy season here.
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