Jitney Funny Status Messages
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Monday is like a math problem. Add irritation, subtract sleep, multiply problems & divide happiness. I hate Mondays!
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05-06-2013 13:46 by jitney
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I just heard Beyonce might come back out on the field and sing, "♫♪♫ Can you pay yo Bills?, Yo Stadium Bills....♫♪♫ "
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02-03-2013 21:16 by Jitney
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Welp ladies valentines day is over. Time for the men to go back to being a-holes again.
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02-15-2012 08:39 by jitney
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Dear paranoid ppl who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, if you do find one, what's your plan?
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07-17-2012 13:56 by jitney
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Her: Your Not listening!!!! Me: How can I listen to you if you dont say the things I want to hear...Woman????
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12-14-2012 20:31 by jitney
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since when did "Thats above my pay grade...." has become the acceptable answer at Mcdonalds?
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11-14-2013 18:50 by Jitney
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If I had a penny everytime that I thought about you, my pants would fall down.
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03-06-2017 09:33 by Jitney
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Dear Summer.....where are you going???Why are you leaving me??? Whyyyyyyyy.... All these back to school pics...and and and...school supplies.....and .....school zone lights are flashing again....
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08-19-2017 18:11 by jitney
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I really, really, really enjoy being off of work.
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11-20-2012 14:11 by jitney
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Spiderman isnt the only one that gets sticky hands after using the Web all day...... If you know what I mean ;)
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09-08-2012 20:28 by jitney
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I'm so ghetto.... I had lights and water bill in my name before the age of 3..
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07-23-2014 00:45 by Jitney
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LADIES: If you're at the Fair and you're ready to go, start talking to the hottest chick there too. He'll find you immediately.
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03-26-2013 21:54 by jitney
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There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but to catch them, you must first become a Master Baiter. :))
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01-15-2012 04:13 by jitney
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So when those annoying Student/Bill Debt collectors call and ask me to verify my information and this call maybe recorded for training purposes....I usually tell em my number recently changed, n give them some other debt collector's number! problem solved
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06-23-2014 15:44 by Jitney
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Oh great now the bill collector is blowing up my phone cuz he thought we got accidentally disconnected....
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11-27-2013 16:15 by Jitney
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Dr. Ruth, the world renowned sex doctor says, dont focus on the sagging, or the belly fat, or the wobbly neck, focus on the sensation after the age of 50.
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09-12-2012 15:35 by jitney
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Danggggit! Lets just put Louisana on Craiglist! Maybe the French can buy it back.
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08-29-2012 17:51 by jitney
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I kinda wish I was sober enough to remember what really happened. One moment we was having fun, the next thing I knew, its Monday and I'm getting emails..... R.I.P - Saturday & Sunday
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11-19-2012 12:20 by Jitney
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ME: Wanna go out with me? GIRL: I have a boyfriend. Me: I have a test tomorrow. GIRL: And? ME: Sorry, I thought we were naming things we could cheat on
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02-19-2012 18:41 by jitney
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Epidemic: Girls who have really good male best friends, but claims they have no man!
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03-22-2013 14:13 by jitney
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