Daheavy1 Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I once dumped a cross eyed girl. I thought she was seeing someone els
←Rate | 09-12-2012 10:01 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone. And if I do, I’ll tell them not to tell anyone.
←Rate | 02-15-2014 12:22 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm really sorry that I haven't been around for the past few days. I've been out collecting money to buy a basketball team. So far, I've got $47.62 in checks, $2.50 in change, an IOU for $5, a Canadian penny and a button. I'm getting really excited
←Rate | 04-30-2014 21:18 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Possessio...is 9/10 of the spelling
←Rate | 02-19-2014 10:32 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I read today that when you have sex, you burn as many calories as running five miles. Who the hell runs five miles in two minutes??!!
←Rate | 04-18-2014 18:35 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon 4/21 Happy National Suprise Drug Test Day!
←Rate | 04-21-2017 16:58 by daheavy1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, all it was doing was gathering dust.
←Rate | 10-24-2014 11:13 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I put my phone on "Airplane Mode" and threw it in the air! ...Worst transformer ever.
←Rate | 06-21-2012 15:19 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When Chelsea Clinton has her baby, do you think Bill is going to celebrate with a cigar?
←Rate | 04-18-2014 18:32 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  


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