Baddie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I want to get a welcome mat for my front door that just says "Text Me"
←Rate | 08-07-2014 13:38 by Baddie Comments (1)  


   messageicon According to this bathroom stall, my ex changed her number again.
←Rate | 11-12-2012 12:23 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just counted 37 things at my work that I could kill my boss with.
←Rate | 06-01-2013 12:41 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know your phone can take pictures of other people too right? Just checking.
←Rate | 09-08-2014 14:25 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just got an email with the subject line "Whales are counting on you". I responded "Whales are making a serious mistake"
←Rate | 05-28-2013 12:07 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing more uncomfortable than a girl with a lazy eye looking up at you while giving you head.
←Rate | 07-28-2012 12:09 by Baddie Comments (2)  


   messageicon Relationships, Marriages, work and children are what keep alcohol companies in business.
←Rate | 07-10-2013 03:11 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If she takes off her heels to chase you, then you better call the police while you still can.
←Rate | 02-20-2013 13:04 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon So now people are purposely sucking on cups to enlarge their lips. What more is the apocalypse waiting for?
←Rate | 04-23-2015 15:05 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry I mispronounced your baby's name you made up.
←Rate | 02-17-2014 12:11 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's called mankind because womanmean just sounded too obvious.
←Rate | 07-16-2013 12:14 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish more people were fluent in silence.
←Rate | 09-10-2013 14:38 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doing yoga has given me more respect for all the positions I've put women in.
←Rate | 03-15-2014 11:39 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
←Rate | 04-01-2014 14:07 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing saves money like being antisocial.
←Rate | 04-16-2014 13:45 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's sexy when a woman wears nothing but a long shirt to bed, it's sexier when she doesn't see you watching from the tree outside her window
←Rate | 12-30-2013 13:11 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon be careful what you post online because future employers might see it and want to hang out with you because you’re so cool
←Rate | 06-27-2014 02:08 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who go to the store and buy the single roll of toilet paper must not have an optimistic view of their life expectancy.
←Rate | 08-20-2014 01:47 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before you begin, I’m legally obligated to tell you I don’t care.
←Rate | 08-22-2014 09:06 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Twerking is great for working out your legs and daddy issues at the same time
←Rate | 09-05-2014 10:14 by Baddie Comments (0)  




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