Aaron Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Farmer plows the field. Farmer doesn't even stay for breakfast, stops returning the field's calls.
←Rate | 09-15-2016 21:05 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shout out to the post office for delivering my recycling to me every day.
←Rate | 09-29-2016 22:34 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Siri, what are the side effects of Valium?" I mumble into the tv remote.
←Rate | 09-29-2016 22:35 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I already looked there." -Kids that didn't look there
←Rate | 10-12-2016 21:13 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon The key to a good night's sleep is to stay up late and get almost no sleep, then the next night after that you'll get a good night's sleep.
←Rate | 01-14-2017 20:48 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you'll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief.
←Rate | 03-04-2017 22:07 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just helped an elderly man cross the street by honking my horn repeatedly
←Rate | 06-24-2017 20:56 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon And when I die, this will all be yours. *points to plastic bags filled with other plastic bags
←Rate | 06-24-2017 20:59 by Aaron Comments (2)  




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