joseph robert Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon People with full heads of hair that complain about grey hairs make me sick. It's like complaining that your Lamborghini gets terrible gas mileage.
←Rate | 08-04-2012 12:17 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I just want to slap the stupid out of people, but I'm worried it'd take up my entire day
←Rate | 07-23-2012 11:49 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think there are more pictures of cats in my news feed than people
←Rate | 07-02-2012 13:27 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tom Cruise has finally reached the 71st level of Scientology, Divorce
←Rate | 06-29-2012 14:09 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breaking news: future editions of Monopoly will feature interchangable spaces for what are now Income Tax and Luxury Tax. Players will have the option to choose from the words "Tax," "Penalty," or "Fine," because, clearly, words no longer have meanings
←Rate | 06-28-2012 18:05 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon The suggested friends list usually falls into 2 categories for me anymore. Either "Who the hell is that?" or "I should of done things to her mouth when I had the chance."
←Rate | 06-26-2012 13:37 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saying that an iPhone is the best phone because of the battery life is like saying my bicycle is the best car when it comes to fuel economy.
←Rate | 06-24-2012 15:17 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anyone else remember the day when you found out your parents had other names besides mom and dad? How crazy was that?!
←Rate | 06-24-2012 15:15 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon The desire to roll around in mud while getting tasered and scraped by barbed wire early in the morning eludes me. It sounds like rough sex without the safe word. #NoThanks
←Rate | 06-17-2012 19:30 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon when I'm feeling athletic, I go to a sports bar
←Rate | 06-17-2012 13:41 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet Carroll Shelby went from Alive to Dead in less than 10 seconds
←Rate | 05-11-2012 17:06 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marsha Brady is gonna freak when she finds out that Davy Jones died
←Rate | 02-29-2012 14:50 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon gues she finally exhaled
←Rate | 02-11-2012 20:47 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to go to parks and watch the children run around because they don't know I'm using blanks
←Rate | 01-29-2012 17:04 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet shady people have a really hard time getting tan
←Rate | 01-09-2012 19:46 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breasts, great on chicks, AND turkeys
←Rate | 11-23-2011 19:43 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only candy I'm interested in tonight swings from a pole and has daddy issues
←Rate | 10-28-2011 13:38 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear girls at the gym, skinny doesn't fix ugly
←Rate | 10-27-2011 11:11 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon The McRib is like the undead of the sandwich world, it keeps coming back. #ZombieFood!
←Rate | 10-21-2011 15:56 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Annie was an orphan because she was a filthy, disgusting, ginger child who wouldn't stop singing
←Rate | 10-21-2011 10:37 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  




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