JAB Funny Status Messages

   The law of attraction is you will lick someone where they pee. . .

   Here's another way to pi$$ off a liberal.. tell them to obey the immigration laws. . .

   Oh you're voting for Hillarious Clinton the crook. I am not saying you're stupid, but voting for her only proves you are. . .

   You know how to pi$$ a liberal off. Make sense. . .

   I may lose friends. But.. People who want to BE politically correct need a red hot iron stoker stuck up their a$$es. . .

   I had 2 Justin Bieber tickets on the front seat of my car, some jacka$$ smashed my window and left 4 more

   I bought new c#m catchers, I mean socks. . .

   I think people can be politically correct all they want. As long as they shut the f#ck up about it. . .

   I'm going to the Aquarium, do some fishing. . .

   Love the share your memories. Hey, I deleted that stupid f#cking comment of yours from four years ago. Do you have a guilty conscience.. lol. . .

   If the first person who said: As god is my witness he should strike me down with a bolt of lightning actually got struck, there'd be a lot of dead people in the world for lying or a very lot of honest people. . . So where is this god you speak of.

   Duct tape can't fix stupid Hillary Clinton supporters, but it can muffle the sound.

   My favorite holiday is, National Egg Salad Lunch Monday. . .

   If there's a Joe Smoe from Idaho. He must be pi$$ed off !

   I use brown eggs occasionally, if I am going to egg someone's car. . .

   I use white eggs, does that make me prejudice ?

   Well, I've come to the conclusion that nobody can tell me how to get to Sesame St. . .

   If Zombies eat brains, I know a lot of people who have nothing to worry about. . .

   Think I will get a night job being a cuddler. After 8 hrs the $ex is free. . .

   The greatest feeling in the world is when your girlfriend tells you, you're better in bed than her husband. . .