nunthewizr Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I am thankful for the hide feature on FB.
←Rate | 11-23-2010 18:51 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon In order to refrain from spending too much on Christmas, I'm voluntarily placing myself in the Jehovah's Witness Protection Program.
←Rate | 12-09-2010 08:14 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon So...I met this really nice girl at closing time last night. Granted, she's missing both her front teeth but Christmas is coming, right?!? I think it can work...
←Rate | 12-09-2010 08:14 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Adult movies now available in 3D?!? Some thing I just don't want to see flying at my face.
←Rate | 12-14-2010 21:25 by Nunthewizr Comments (1)  


   messageicon A deal has been struck to allow evolution to continue to be taught in public schools, as long as Dinosaurs are refered to as Jesus Horse's.
←Rate | 12-15-2010 17:06 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dont you hate it when you open a bag of chips and its half full?! Yeah, that's how us guys feel about push-up bras!!
←Rate | 01-21-2011 17:49 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only reason I want the Bears to win today is so that I can watch them lose in the Super Bowl.
←Rate | 01-23-2011 15:50 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Really struggling on what to get my girlfriend for Valentines Day. I mean, I'd hate to get her the same thing as her Husband does. That would be embarassing.
←Rate | 02-13-2011 18:00 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a guy return a wedding set at Walmart today and get his $36 back. I'm guessing her answer was, "No."
←Rate | 02-15-2011 21:26 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Took my Beanie Baby collection to a Pawn Shop today. Really thought they'd be worth a lot more. Back in the safe they go.
←Rate | 02-24-2011 22:28 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a lady at Walmart wearing those "shape up" shoes. Thought to myself, "Honey....there ain't no shaping that thing up."
←Rate | 03-23-2011 22:14 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Man is it cold outside...just want to give a shout out to whoever invented the padded bra...THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!
←Rate | 04-21-2011 12:15 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
←Rate | 04-28-2011 20:01 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Skort: skirt in the front, shorts in the back; it's like a mullet for your butt!!
←Rate | 05-19-2011 17:13 by Nunthewizr Comments (1)  


   messageicon Diet tip: If you fatten up everyone around you, you will look thinner.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 17:14 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever see someone in a hurry and they do that last little mad dash to their final destination? How much time does that save.....2.3 seconds?
←Rate | 05-27-2011 20:25 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon OMG!!! I am so f'd up...I drank so much last night..i woke up in my own vomit! Party!....woohoo!..I just chugged more vodka to cure the hangover!.....(this didn't happen, just wanted to fit in in Facebook).
←Rate | 10-23-2011 20:18 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're wondering at what point I stopped caring, it was pretty much when you said, "Hi, my name is _________."
←Rate | 10-23-2011 20:24 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon she serious with that outfit? Why doesn't she just paste a "For Sale" sign across her chest?
←Rate | 10-23-2011 20:31 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎45% of the internet is pornography. 55% of the internet is lame.
←Rate | 11-13-2011 09:02 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  




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