jdpower Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Alcohol doesn't solve any problems; but then again, neither does milk.
←Rate | 08-16-2010 15:12 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon JaMarcus Russell has admitted failing a drug test. It's all explained in his new book "Eat Pray Eat Love Eat Chug Purple Drank Eat".
←Rate | 08-16-2010 15:14 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dead fish washed onto "Jersey Shore" cast's beach. The slimy, oft-horizontal twitching creatures say they feel bad for the fish....
←Rate | 08-16-2010 15:15 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm seriously reevaluating my MySpace Top 8
←Rate | 08-17-2010 13:28 by jdpower Comments (1)  


   messageicon Wyclef Jean is running for President of Haiti. He should pledge to make Lauryn Hill his Secretary of Miseducation.
←Rate | 08-20-2010 15:53 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a guy today that had a bedazzled cell phone. I thought it was kinda gay..... but then thought he might have stolen the phone and he might be a thug. The whole thing confused me.
←Rate | 08-23-2010 12:52 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best part of watching an actor on an environmental crusade is when he gets on his private plane.
←Rate | 08-23-2010 17:18 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I support precisely enough global warming to flood Jersey Shore.
←Rate | 08-24-2010 18:42 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon The saxophone still hasn't been brought to justice for everything it did in the 1980s.
←Rate | 08-24-2010 18:44 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.
←Rate | 08-31-2010 11:54 by jdpower Comments (2)  


   messageicon I feel like "cheeseburger" works better as a noun than as an adjective.
←Rate | 09-08-2010 15:17 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Barack Obama's tweets are too official. Just once I'd like to see something like: "Just took a Biden-sized dump".
←Rate | 09-08-2010 15:17 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you say the word "douche" fast and repetitively, it will sound like the beat of a techno song that some douche would definitely love.
←Rate | 09-08-2010 15:19 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Craigslist removed its' "Adult Services"section. Headline should read, "No one to ever use Craigslist again".
←Rate | 09-08-2010 15:20 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Amy Winehouse says her body has been through so much she probably can't get pregnant. Darwin wins again.
←Rate | 09-08-2010 15:20 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm starting to think those 4 years of "P. Diddy Language" I took in grad school may have been a wizz-aste.
←Rate | 09-08-2010 15:22 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon How is it C-3PO is fluent in 6 million languages, yet in none of them can manage to say, "I'm gay?"
←Rate | 09-08-2010 15:23 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon When two meth addicts go out, is it considered speed dating?
←Rate | 09-13-2010 14:32 by jdpower Comments (3)  


   messageicon Camping out for video game releases is a fun way to prepare for your impending homelessness.
←Rate | 09-14-2010 15:28 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here's to hoping next time Lady Gaga wears a dress made out of Justin Bieber.
←Rate | 09-17-2010 18:38 by jdpower Comments (0)  




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