snotty Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Just found out I got another A in my daughter's science class.
←Rate | 10-04-2013 07:53 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn't made plans, and wondering how you hurt your back.
←Rate | 06-05-2014 19:08 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon So sad that out of 200 countries in this world,, America ranks 35th in the world in math... But at least that keeps us still in the top 10%
←Rate | 06-12-2012 09:05 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Math Problem: If Matt has 16 oz of coffee and loses 4 oz at each of 5 speed bumps going into work, how many seconds until Matt kills everyone?
←Rate | 03-21-2012 20:15 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 42,337 times,, and you are a weather man.
←Rate | 02-29-2012 07:21 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can you even imagine how long the Carfax report is on the Batmobile
←Rate | 10-12-2013 14:37 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon PRO TIP: You can put a baseball card between the spokes on a Prius, and make it sound like a real car
←Rate | 10-12-2013 15:23 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just won an award for being lazy,,,It even came with atrophy
←Rate | 04-11-2012 07:02 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bands who can't afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert
←Rate | 10-17-2012 22:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I've dropped my phone.
←Rate | 04-11-2012 12:41 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's now a Taco Bell taco with a shell made out of Doritos?,, Hmmm, It seems that our junk foods have started hunting each other.
←Rate | 03-12-2012 17:11 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon GIRLS: To make a guy panic, simply ask ,, " Notice anything different?'................. * works EVERY time
←Rate | 04-24-2014 10:35 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Twenty percent of all relationships fail because someone buys a selfie stick.
←Rate | 09-27-2015 19:31 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon By show of hands, who's been fooled 3 times and not known who to blame?
←Rate | 12-05-2014 07:46 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your car took up two spaces,, So I tried to move it over with my key.
←Rate | 04-28-2015 23:18 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you want to have fun with your kids, tell them the teacher called, then ask if there is something they need to tell you.
←Rate | 08-11-2016 18:22 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I already want to take a nap tomorrow
←Rate | 05-03-2012 15:55 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think "Don't Kid Yourself" would be a great brand name for birth control pills.
←Rate | 11-08-2012 18:19 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just paid 2 dollars in quarters to put air in my tire... This inflation is out of control.
←Rate | 12-14-2012 18:15 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only 10 days until Facebook is stacked with return to the gym statuses and pictures of salads.
←Rate | 12-28-2012 16:27 by snotty Comments (0)  




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