jitney Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I hate it when the cashier asks me a stupid question like. "Are you buying all of these?", "No B!@tch!!, I'm stealing, just wanted to show you first!"
←Rate | 09-08-2012 15:56 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I cannot believe Monday got the audacity to be tomorrow..
←Rate | 06-26-2019 03:33 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon There will be a huge demand on all European hair this week! So buy stock and shares in hair!
←Rate | 02-03-2013 20:23 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Today at work the Boss asks me to start my presentation with a joke, On the 1st slide was a copy of my paycheck!!
←Rate | 09-11-2012 11:40 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon RIP the great #NelsonMandela. Morgan Freeman played you in a film & now you will meet God. Also played by Morgan Freeman.
←Rate | 12-05-2013 19:56 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon You wanna know whats more expensive then Milk and Gas.....Ink! Instead of buying ink for my wireless printer, I mightest well buy a new printer at the rate these prices are going!
←Rate | 01-05-2013 20:25 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pringles - The only chip company in the world, that doesn't sell air!
←Rate | 06-23-2014 23:47 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Either I'm seriously drunnk or gas prices are high again.... I just got pulled over by a cop on a horse!
←Rate | 07-31-2012 04:44 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon How come i'm your best friend all of a sudden when you need money? but you dont remember when I needed a ride?
←Rate | 08-12-2012 11:04 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I realized I'm too silly for most sex things. My wife was like, "I want you to throw me around in the bedroom" , I was like, "How bout you run around and I trip you!".....I figure its safer for the both of us.
←Rate | 12-23-2012 14:59 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Here's a TIP: Never ask a woman what's wrong and never not ask her either.
←Rate | 01-21-2016 12:38 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Imagining the horrified look on your kid's face when you tell them "When I was born there was no internet".
←Rate | 04-06-2013 15:23 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon "So whose the Doctor who overdose Whitney Houston and how many years he getting?", says Dr Conrad.......
←Rate | 02-13-2012 21:30 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon $60,000 was stollen from a WholesFood store in NY early this yr. Luckily Wholes Food will make that money back with the next batch of apples they sell.
←Rate | 12-10-2016 19:46 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I met a Spanish man with a Rubber toe......his name was Roberto
←Rate | 09-30-2012 18:09 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Trust Me When I say Anyone can DANCE!!!!!" - Jack Daniels
←Rate | 05-04-2013 13:49 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Vampires beware!!!! Blade has been released!!!!
←Rate | 04-06-2013 15:15 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Its not enough to just be in a relationship, now you have to state what type too? FB is out of control!!! What the heck is a open domestic partnership? That's just pimping ....
←Rate | 10-22-2013 15:41 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon George Zimmerman has been back and forth to jail for murder, battery, gun charges and now assault and Still keeps getting bail!?!? The Florida justice system is an embarrassment
←Rate | 11-19-2013 21:14 by Jitney Comments (1)  

   messageicon How about they make a film that makes these ppl give us free oil?
←Rate | 09-14-2012 18:02 by jitney Comments (1)  

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