jdpower Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Experts say the snake that escaped from the Bronx Zoo may be seeking its natural habitat ..and is heading for Wall St.
←Rate | 03-29-2011 21:15 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon How much would it suck if your name was really "Ed Hardy"?
←Rate | 06-08-2010 01:42 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I hear music so bad that I think the government should also enforce a five-day waiting period for buying a guitar.
←Rate | 10-25-2010 20:25 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon We can forgive Ireland's $70 billion debt. But we must never forgive them for Riverdance.
←Rate | 11-29-2010 21:29 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon A life vest - protects you from drowning. A bullet proof vest - protects from bullets. A sweater vest - protects you from dating.
←Rate | 09-14-2011 21:57 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon In Vegas, Charlie Sheen was hanging out with 3 porn stars.. Good to see he's trying to cut back.
←Rate | 01-12-2011 13:23 by jdpower Comments (8)  


   messageicon Car dealerships greatly over-estimate the allure of tents.
←Rate | 11-29-2010 21:26 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oprah embraces her half sister & brings her into the family. Tomorrow, I will be showing up as long lost brother - JD Winfrey
←Rate | 01-28-2011 19:06 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon We may be falling behind China in some ways, but our underground drug tunnels are second to none. USA!!
←Rate | 11-04-2010 21:06 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alcohol doesn't solve any problems; but then again, neither does milk.
←Rate | 08-16-2010 15:12 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wanna be a workaholic.. but workahol tastes like sh!t
←Rate | 10-01-2010 17:36 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one will be making fun of Chaz Bono, when Nancy Grace has a wardrobe malfunction on Dancing with the Stars and her Johnson pops out.
←Rate | 09-14-2011 22:00 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎"Every kiss begins with Kay." But for second base and beyond, go with Tiffany.
←Rate | 01-05-2011 20:57 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to Apple, 300,000 people did not have sex this weekend.
←Rate | 04-13-2010 00:49 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cool slogan for the new Facebook movie: "See it with someone you never talked to in high school."
←Rate | 07-19-2010 16:47 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Chicken of the Sea" is both a delicious brand of tuna.. and the best way to insult a pirate.
←Rate | 09-14-2011 22:01 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon BP says their latest cleanup technique is called a "Dirty Sanchez." I don't want details.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 02:17 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon The BP spill is now officially the worst spill in history.. surpassing Monica Lewinsky's dress.
←Rate | 08-02-2010 21:43 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon People joke about Bieber Fever. Don't.. Sigourney Weaver Fever killed my grandfather.
←Rate | 10-18-2010 14:40 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon NFL Update: Favre Reports Stiffness.
←Rate | 10-18-2010 22:54 by jdpower Comments (0)  




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