abbybaby34 Funny Status Messages
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When a spambot tells you to click a link to take an IQ test, that IS the IQ test.
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Happy "Romantically Challenged" Day.
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People are not mirrors, They see you completely differently than the way you see yourself.
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Don't think too much. You'll create a problem that wasn't even there in the first place.
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There's nothing more exhilarating than playing air guitar in your underwear...
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I'm about 0 for 300 in looking for safes behind wall paintings
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Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as "that weird thing I did for a while."
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What makes the Superbowl half time show better than the Grammys? The Superbowl half-time show was only 1/2 hour.
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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet & rub up & down. Yep that's how you wash a cup...
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Sometimes what is said is not what is meant and what is meant is left unsaid.
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Just to be different, I cry about being single on the 4th of July, and celebrate Valentine's Day with explosives.
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Just got a fortune cookie with no fortune in it ... Sounds about right
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Your profile said you had a body like an amusement park, but when I met you it looked more like a trailer park. what gives?
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Why do all the beautiful women with blond hair, dye their roots brown?
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Charlie Sheen is Kenny Powers with more money.
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As kids we want to be adults who can do whatever they want and as adults we wish we were kids who can do whatever they want
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Someone needs to uninvent the internet so we can all start getting some stuff done.
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"Let's save this so we can throw it away in few days" - Tupperware
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it bad when I'm talking to myself and I'm not even listening?
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Just met one of those people that start laughing at things you said 10 minutes ago....because they just "got it"
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