Moon Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I can always tell when a friend spent a lot on their kitchen remodel when I can't find their garbage can.
←Rate | 10-26-2020 00:31 by moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm so glad the elections are over and we can put all that stress behind us and move on to being stessed about the holidays.
←Rate | 11-08-2020 10:30 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Like this status if you're the type of person who likes to carry all your groceries into your house in one trip, but then realize at the front door you have so many bags in your hands you can't get the keys out of pocket.
←Rate | 06-16-2019 14:59 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm so old I remember when people the only people who took something off your porch were called milkmen.
←Rate | 01-03-2020 20:32 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon The scariest words a man can ever hear from a woman are "Notice anything different?"
←Rate | 02-23-2020 09:13 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just once in my life I'd love to make just the perfect amount of spaghetti for myself. Anyways, if you're hungry come on over. And bring like five friends.
←Rate | 02-01-2019 00:06 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Shoutout to the guy driving the BMW who gave me the finger after I honked at you. Your cell phone's on top of your car!
←Rate | 04-12-2019 21:53 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you think you can win me over with just food music and a pretty face your damn right!
←Rate | 05-18-2019 09:37 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Where did we go wrong when in 1969 we could send a man all the way to the Moon and be in perfect contact with them, when in 2019 I cant walking to the next room without losing your cell phone signal.
←Rate | 05-21-2019 07:14 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just want to be as happy as the characters in any horror movie are during the first half hour of the film.
←Rate | 07-31-2019 04:40 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you are ever wondering who your real friends are, delete your Facebook account and see who calls.
←Rate | 01-04-2021 01:34 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Coming out can be hard as people don't understand our way of life and can be very close minded, but I feel in this day and age I can no longer be afraid to say I love Disco!
←Rate | 07-11-2019 19:50 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I was a kid I thought I would never grow up to be the type of person to go out running every morning. And I was right.
←Rate | 09-28-2018 11:02 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wish there was a way to turn horrible books back into trees.
←Rate | 09-01-2019 08:53 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon So who's ready for the holiday for singles the day after Saint Valentine's Day! You know 50% off cake and candy day.
←Rate | 01-27-2021 11:06 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Your The Only One For Me" Valentine's Day cards on sale 2 for $5 just seems wrong, totally wrong.
←Rate | 02-14-2021 11:58 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Everyone sing along! Don't stand.... don't stand.... don't stand so close to me...
←Rate | 03-26-2020 11:26 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Her: What sign are you most compatible with? Me: Krispy Kreme's hot and ready sign.
←Rate | 07-31-2020 01:50 by moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whoever said "Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today" knew how to log out of facebook.
←Rate | 01-24-2021 12:43 by Moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just cleaned up my friends list, so if you can see this post it means you've made the cut because your special!....or my worst enemy I just want to keep an eye on.
←Rate | 11-29-2018 02:58 by Moon Comments (0)  

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