Jitney Funny Status Messages
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I hate it when the cashier asks me a stupid question like. "Are you buying all of these?", "No B!@tch!!, I'm stealing, just wanted to show you first!"
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09-08-2012 15:56 by jitney
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I cannot believe Monday got the audacity to be tomorrow..
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06-26-2019 03:33 by jitney
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There will be a huge demand on all European hair this week! So buy stock and shares in hair!
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02-03-2013 20:23 by Jitney
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Today at work the Boss asks me to start my presentation with a joke, On the 1st slide was a copy of my paycheck!!
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09-11-2012 11:40 by jitney
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RIP the great #NelsonMandela. Morgan Freeman played you in a film & now you will meet God. Also played by Morgan Freeman.
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12-05-2013 19:56 by Jitney
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You wanna know whats more expensive then Milk and Gas.....Ink! Instead of buying ink for my wireless printer, I mightest well buy a new printer at the rate these prices are going!
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01-05-2013 20:25 by jitney
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Pringles - The only chip company in the world, that doesn't sell air!
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06-23-2014 23:47 by Jitney
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Either I'm seriously drunnk or gas prices are high again.... I just got pulled over by a cop on a horse!
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07-31-2012 04:44 by jitney
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How come i'm your best friend all of a sudden when you need money? but you dont remember when I needed a ride?
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08-12-2012 11:04 by jitney
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I realized I'm too silly for most sex things. My wife was like, "I want you to throw me around in the bedroom" , I was like, "How bout you run around and I trip you!".....I figure its safer for the both of us.
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12-23-2012 14:59 by Jitney
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Here's a TIP: Never ask a woman what's wrong and never not ask her either.
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01-21-2016 12:38 by jitney
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Imagining the horrified look on your kid's face when you tell them "When I was born there was no internet".
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04-06-2013 15:23 by Jitney
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"So whose the Doctor who overdose Whitney Houston and how many years he getting?", says Dr Conrad.......
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02-13-2012 21:30 by jitney
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$60,000 was stollen from a WholesFood store in NY early this yr. Luckily Wholes Food will make that money back with the next batch of apples they sell.
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12-10-2016 19:46 by jitney
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I met a Spanish man with a Rubber toe......his name was Roberto
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09-30-2012 18:09 by jitney
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"Trust Me When I say Anyone can DANCE!!!!!" - Jack Daniels
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05-04-2013 13:49 by Jitney
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Vampires beware!!!! Blade has been released!!!!
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04-06-2013 15:15 by Jitney
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Its not enough to just be in a relationship, now you have to state what type too? FB is out of control!!! What the heck is a open domestic partnership? That's just pimping ....
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10-22-2013 15:41 by jitney
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George Zimmerman has been back and forth to jail for murder, battery, gun charges and now assault and Still keeps getting bail!?!? The Florida justice system is an embarrassment
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11-19-2013 21:14 by Jitney
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How about they make a film that makes these ppl give us free oil?
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09-14-2012 18:02 by jitney
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