JOser Funny Status Messages

   Canceled my trip to Arizona because my dog doesn't have papers...

   You Canadians spell humor as "humour." American humor is better. We can do it without u.

   I'd love to be a lifeguard at the gene pool. I'd let a few of them drown.

   Arguing about Facebook is so Myspace.

   If I threw all my problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, I'd grab mines back...

   What do I mean, "inner geek"? I'm deluding myself -- I'm pretty much geek all the way through.

   Hey, someone finally won! Celebrate irresponsibly.

   singing , , , , , chameleon ♫♪ ♫♪ ♫♪

   BREAKING NEWS: Miami Heat joins LeBron James.

   Why's Lil Wayne still in Jail? Someone should work on breaking him out. Call T-Pain, I hear he has a boat.

   I have a six pack which I wanna show off at the beach this summer it was too blady long in the fridge.

   I'd like to kick Murphy's @ss for making any laws.

   Suicide is away of telling God, You can't fire me I quit !!!!!

   The 186th rule of Fight Club is there is no such thing as a male BFF...!

   With all the disease in this world, I'm just happy I didn't catch "The Stupid", or any other airborne illness like Freckles

   Who is "Taxes" and "IRS"? Those jerks have been sending me junk mail for years.

   drunk dialing but luckily my mom stopped me. Thanks MADD (motha's against drunk dialing)

   When I get to where I'm going, will somebody please tell me where I am?

   There are two kinds of secrets : one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep.

   These are my Hammer pants; you can't touch them.