Joser Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Hangovers are for people foolish enough to stop drinking.
←Rate | 07-11-2010 15:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon efore deciding whether you will stay up all night, you should sleep on it.
←Rate | 07-11-2010 15:40 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I do not have attention deficit disorder. I have what you're saying is boring the sh*t out of me disorder.
←Rate | 07-12-2010 11:34 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The smaller the dog, the crazier the chick.
←Rate | 07-12-2010 11:34 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My life coach just benched me.
←Rate | 07-12-2010 11:34 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Halloween I'll be a banker. I'll eat all my candy, all yours, then convince the government that if I don't get more candy we all starve.
←Rate | 07-12-2010 11:35 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, the Mayans were close-- Oprah goes off the air in 2011.
←Rate | 07-12-2010 11:35 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know who sucks Aggressive drivers. And cowardly drivers. And slow drivers. And drivers who are not me.
←Rate | 07-12-2010 11:36 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Meeting an old friend for drinks after work. Hope he doesn't bring up that Farmville invite I ignored.
←Rate | 07-12-2010 11:36 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex is a lot like air..You don't realize how bad you need it until you don't have it.
←Rate | 07-12-2010 11:37 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Hamster has a developed an issue. He slides money out of my wallet and eats it. Seriously! $40 this week, so far. Renaming him "Government".
←Rate | 07-12-2010 11:37 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The wedding card selection at this store blows. Lots of "Congrats" and "Best wishes" but no "I still question your sexuality" anywhere.
←Rate | 07-12-2010 11:38 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if my boss was more fun and carefree in his youth, when his name was Anakin.
←Rate | 07-12-2010 11:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes, when I feel optimistic about the future of mankind, I go read the comments on YouTube and it brings me right back to reality.
←Rate | 07-12-2010 11:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're OCD and you know it, wash your hands.
←Rate | 07-12-2010 11:40 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey, someone finally won! Celebrate irresponsibly.
←Rate | 07-12-2010 11:41 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's just call the iPhone what it really is: The Toilet Book Pro
←Rate | 07-12-2010 17:04 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon F to the you to the C to the K pretty much sums up my day
←Rate | 07-12-2010 18:44 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My therapist said I let other people control my emotions to much. I don't think that's true at all, what do you think?
←Rate | 07-12-2010 18:47 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon hold tight to your most precious joys; make memories, laugh a lot, love more, give & accept lots of hugs because it could all be gone in the blink of an eye
←Rate | 07-12-2010 19:49 by Joser Comments (0)  




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