Kisstopher Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Gangsters in skinny jeans and tight tees? Where do they keep their guns, drug paraphernalia... and food stamps?
←Rate | 03-17-2013 14:05 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doctor told me I only have 6 months to live, maybe 12 if I get enough likes on Facebook.
←Rate | 03-20-2013 14:23 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon This girl told me that she likes men who know long words. So, I told her how ammaazzzziiiinnnggg she was.
←Rate | 03-21-2013 08:29 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I were a Caveman I would have masturbated in front of a T-Rex just to make him jealous!
←Rate | 03-21-2013 08:32 by Kisstopher Comments (1)  


   messageicon I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
←Rate | 03-21-2013 13:02 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife is going to the hair salon today so for the next few hours I will be practising my reaction.
←Rate | 03-22-2013 11:41 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Told my boss I would be turning in my badge and my gun. He said you work in IT, why do you have a gun?
←Rate | 03-22-2013 11:46 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always tell people how fat I am. Then they tell me I'm not and I feel better about myself. - MOST WOMEN
←Rate | 03-23-2013 07:15 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alcohol + Taylor Swift + Drugs = Ke$ha
←Rate | 03-23-2013 08:16 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can't be manipulated, you're not in love.
←Rate | 03-27-2013 09:39 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon After I do something I compliment myself in my mind using the voices of people I know.
←Rate | 03-27-2013 15:16 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if you just started licking the dentist fingers while they were in your mouth.
←Rate | 03-28-2013 04:48 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't text and drive. You don't want "lol" to be the last thing you say before you die.
←Rate | 03-28-2013 04:54 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon My signature move is falling in love with people I can't have.
←Rate | 03-28-2013 05:10 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon You say alcohol abuse, I say this alcohol is getting exactly what it deserves.
←Rate | 03-28-2013 12:18 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes I stalk you, but only as a friend.
←Rate | 03-28-2013 13:30 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon After sex, I've the same problem as a murderer; what to do with the body.
←Rate | 03-29-2013 15:22 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many times do you need the same person to piss in your mouth before you figure out urine doesn’t taste good?
←Rate | 03-31-2013 09:40 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gun control is like trying to reduce drunk driving by making it tougher for sober people to own cars.
←Rate | 04-02-2013 03:23 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon My safe word is "eww."
←Rate | 04-04-2013 07:20 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  




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