Kisstopher Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Kisstopher': View All Messages
Page: 31 of 35

   messageicon I miss being in a relationship. Could 1 of you girls come over here and yell at me, treat me like shi t and not sleep with me? It might help.
←Rate | 02-28-2013 08:29 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys, tell her she looks more beautiful without any make up. She won't believe you but your odds of getting laid will improve enormously.
←Rate | 02-28-2013 12:32 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss being late for work because of morning sex. Now, it's because I dress my cat as Gandolph.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 00:38 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mo’ money, mo’ problems. This explains why I don’t have problems.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 07:24 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone please tell Facebook that all relationships are complicated.
←Rate | 03-02-2013 07:04 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife and I laugh at how competitive we are at things, but I laugh more.
←Rate | 03-03-2013 06:40 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon In some countries, DEATH is nature’s way of limiting presidential terms in office. You wanted to be a president for life, and now your wish is granted Mr Chavez.
←Rate | 03-06-2013 03:07 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry I slapped you but you didn't seem like you would ever stop talking and I panicked.
←Rate | 03-07-2013 01:33 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If someone tells you their horoscope says they're going to have a good day, it's your duty as a human being to punch them in the throat and prove them wrong.
←Rate | 03-07-2013 12:46 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just because someone smiles a lot doesn't mean they're nice or they like you. Take alligators for example.
←Rate | 03-07-2013 13:38 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do not put a party hat on a cat. They are seldom in a party mood.
←Rate | 03-09-2013 13:04 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon There’s plenty of fish in the sea.. I just suck at fishing.
←Rate | 03-09-2013 13:06 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only decisions I like to make are at the liquor store.
←Rate | 03-11-2013 09:56 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't steal things you don't need or want, like hearts.
←Rate | 03-11-2013 13:40 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Best way to realize if you have a stupid idea is to consider who agrees with it and who doesn't.
←Rate | 03-12-2013 05:17 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I swear one day I'm going to wake up with my phone shoved up my ass and divorce papers scattered around me.
←Rate | 03-12-2013 05:21 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many slutty and nude pics did it take you to get that many friend requests?
←Rate | 03-12-2013 11:35 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon You without me is like a Tim Burton movie without Johnny Depp.
←Rate | 03-16-2013 14:32 by Kisstopher Comments (1)  


   messageicon The opposite of Viagr a is marriage!
←Rate | 03-16-2013 14:46 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies; don’t get mad when guys stare at your boobs because there is going to be a time in the future when no guy will want to look at your boobs after time has had its way with them and they now look like raisins.
←Rate | 03-17-2013 13:40 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left