Kisstopher Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You're sexy, but not "I don't care if you have horrible grammar" sexy.
←Rate | 02-09-2013 11:19 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love is that gun we all use to commit suicide.
←Rate | 02-11-2013 08:00 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife said that I set up the baby monitor wrong. Apparently it's not supposed to be duct-taped to the baby's ankle.
←Rate | 02-11-2013 08:34 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon The couple that laughs together, stays together. If that's not a pro-weed slogan then nothing is.
←Rate | 02-11-2013 13:18 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh, you like camping? I like drinking outside too.
←Rate | 02-12-2013 13:09 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last night I tried talking to the moon pretending it was you. And just like you, it maintained a distance and didn't reply. :(
←Rate | 02-14-2013 01:39 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people pride themselves on their hard work. I pride myself on doing so little and yet keeping my job.
←Rate | 02-14-2013 13:59 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roses are red, violets are blue, daisies are white, sunflowers are yellow. This florist has everything.
←Rate | 02-14-2013 14:06 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Of all the people I don't love, I don't love you the most.
←Rate | 02-17-2013 13:11 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're crazy and you know it, shake your meds.
←Rate | 02-20-2013 11:59 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess some people are the salt of the earth and others are the wounds.
←Rate | 02-20-2013 12:30 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I makes me sad to think that drug dealers know better math than I do.
←Rate | 02-20-2013 12:52 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon A pizza is a pie chart that shows you exactly how pizza you have eaten and how much is left.
←Rate | 02-20-2013 13:20 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m totally gonna ask this lady breast feeding her baby, for a little squirt for my coffee.
←Rate | 02-21-2013 12:31 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Forget the wild animals, aliens, ghosts, snakes or spiders; the greatest danger to a human being is another human being.
←Rate | 02-21-2013 14:06 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Loneliness can make you do some strange people.
←Rate | 02-25-2013 23:51 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just once I would like to be summoned by a king, or a wizard, instead of the courts.
←Rate | 02-26-2013 11:51 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon In life its only a thief who genuinely wishes you to prosper and succeed.
←Rate | 02-28-2013 04:15 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people are in a long distance relationship with common sense.
←Rate | 02-28-2013 07:52 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dracula had impeccable hair for a guy who couldn't see himself in a mirror.
←Rate | 02-28-2013 08:04 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  




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