Baddie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon GUY 1: Why can’t we skip rope without society judging us? GUY 2: What if we occasionally beat the crap out of each other? Boxing is born.
←Rate | 07-09-2015 14:01 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shock collars, but for co-workers
←Rate | 07-09-2015 13:40 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon 20mph school zones are only making our children's reaction time worse.
←Rate | 06-15-2015 13:27 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes officer I know it seems like a lot for personal use.
←Rate | 06-04-2015 13:45 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend is pissed at me for never putting down the toilet seat. To be honest, I AM getting pretty tired of carrying it around.
←Rate | 05-22-2015 12:16 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why did humans invent hell, when there are enough real things to be scared of, like emotional commitment, marriage and a woman on her period.
←Rate | 05-09-2015 12:53 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon So now people are purposely sucking on cups to enlarge their lips. What more is the apocalypse waiting for?
←Rate | 04-23-2015 15:05 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Technically, I don't have to do anything until my wife wakes up and realizes I'm not doing anything.
←Rate | 04-23-2015 14:50 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon the only reason Kanye likes Kim's ass all oiled up is because he can see his own reflection in it.
←Rate | 04-06-2015 11:36 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was never a photogenic person, because when everyone said cheese I said "WHERE ?"
←Rate | 04-02-2015 12:17 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tell me I drink too much so I can drink about that too.
←Rate | 03-31-2015 13:35 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry I stopped, dropped and rolled when you told me you loved me.
←Rate | 03-21-2015 13:08 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last I heard, my guardian angel was in the ER with alcohol poisoning.
←Rate | 03-13-2015 12:48 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so excited to not hear from you again tomorrow.
←Rate | 03-12-2015 00:28 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon No, I can't come to your wedding. I just realized the remote works through the blanket.
←Rate | 02-26-2015 12:34 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The grass is greener on the other side because my neighbors are Mexican.
←Rate | 02-25-2015 11:18 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stupid cats stealing all our women.
←Rate | 02-14-2015 12:44 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me crazy? If it wasn't so hard to get back up on this unicorn, I'd so b*tch-slap you
←Rate | 02-14-2015 12:21 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to care but I take a pill for that now.
←Rate | 02-14-2015 12:08 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm happy Bruce Jenner is transitioning into a woman but I'd be even happier if his stepdaughters transitioned into oblivion
←Rate | 02-08-2015 10:03 by Baddie Comments (0)  




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