Leeferd Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon It'll be a while before hearing a commentator say: "Tiger Woods struggles to come from behind" doesn't make me giggle.
←Rate | 06-21-2010 12:33 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Other countries would fear us more if, instead of a nickname for a holding cell, the "Drunk Tank" were an actual weapon.
←Rate | 06-23-2010 15:40 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon If "Vampire In Brooklyn" had been a bigger hit, we could have all lived the rest of our lives without these damn "Twilight" movies .
←Rate | 06-24-2010 08:31 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon always beats Edward Scissorhands in rock-paper-scissors.
←Rate | 06-25-2010 16:58 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon A dog is man's best friend. In some states, they're friends with benefits.
←Rate | 06-26-2010 09:26 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a guy sitting next to me on the plane that looks like Jesus Christ. Just handed him a bottle of water and said, "Merlot, please."
←Rate | 06-29-2010 08:20 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon tired of these rock bands all sounding the same. They should all just rename themselves "Puddle of NickelCreed."
←Rate | 06-29-2010 08:30 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm putting out my own sex tape. Sure, it's only duct tape, but you can use it for sex too.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 19:41 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've seen as many smart people today as Stevie Wonder has.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 13:25 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys with phone holsters surely would have been gunned down quickly in the old west.
←Rate | 07-09-2010 08:41 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon My MIL takes the F out of MILF.
←Rate | 07-12-2010 18:48 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon John Mellencamp was a visionary because he knew that Cougar in 2010 would have a very different meaning
←Rate | 07-18-2010 11:00 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear 5 Hour Energy, What in the HELL is your idea of this flavor you call "berry?" Dingle?!
←Rate | 07-19-2010 10:02 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon wished mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 07:14 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants the Micro Machines Man to do my eulogy.
←Rate | 07-22-2010 09:28 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Snap! Crackle! F*ck!? Did I just put something metal in the microwave?
←Rate | 07-22-2010 09:51 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to pretend I'm a judge on "So You Think You Can Dance" when I'm at the strip club.
←Rate | 07-23-2010 05:59 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people say I'm too brutally honest. The truth hurts... and I don't carry band-aids.
←Rate | 07-24-2010 10:41 by Leeferd Comments (1)  


   messageicon wonders what the guys from Color Me Badd are doing nowadays because I need a new roof.
←Rate | 07-26-2010 06:30 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is a difference between a porn stash and a porn 'stache.
←Rate | 07-28-2010 12:33 by Leeferd Comments (0)  




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