mickeybruce Funny Status Messages

   ...nice mouth on that Palin kid: I know somebody who needs to buy a new keyboard 'cuz the S, T, F, and you are completely worn out!!

   Deja Fu: I've been kicked in the head like this before...

   I'm a little bit hungry. I could eat a pony

   ohh yeahh... the sex was so good even the neighbors had a cigarette

   San Francisco bans toys in Happy Meals.... Mayor McCheese vows to "Take it to the Supreme Court, if necessary"

   ...yikes! saw a bunch of vegetarian zombies at the store today. all they could say was "GRRRAAAIIIIIINNNSSS"

   a computer allows you to make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history... with the possible exception of handguns and tequila

   ok, so what do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh!

   you can post the Ten Commandments in the courthouse, if you let us post the statutes regarding child molestation in your church

   heard on the news that Justin Bieber won like 2 million awards last night but he's only sold 4 CDs. wtf?

   still has Circus Peanuts left over from Halloween 1956. Yum!

   converted my dishwasher into a snowblower: bought the wife a new snow shovel for her birthday!

   beauty is power, and a smile is its' sword.

   did Superfly's family have "jive turkey" yesterday?

   money isn't the key to happiness? then where is the key? hidden in a stupid box somewhere, like in Pirates Of The Caribbean?

   ...the good news: the Rangers are going to the Finals!! the bad news: wrong Rangers :(

   the first rule of Sam's Club is that you will not admit that you were stupid enough to go there on Black Friday

   ...baby, if you were a sandwich at McDonald's, you'd be the McGorgeous!

   supports the whole Movember concept but thinks it should be changed to Manuary

   EVERYBODY: [1] HAVE FUN TONIGHT. [2] WANG CHUNG TONIGHT.