flinnie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Insanity does not run in my family. It strolls through, taking it's time and getting to know each one of us personally.
←Rate | 11-23-2012 08:35 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m so old, I can remember going through a whole day without taking a picture of anything.
←Rate | 04-23-2014 05:27 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon n't it interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering
←Rate | 04-15-2014 05:30 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before you get married try walking with your partner through IKEA. If you don't end up in an argument, you're good to go.
←Rate | 09-05-2011 05:51 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I spent most of my childhood terrified that the rhythm was going to get me.
←Rate | 05-13-2012 08:38 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I make you breakfast in bed. A simple 'Thank you.' is all I need! Not all this 'How did you get in my house?' business!
←Rate | 12-30-2012 08:22 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon the Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
←Rate | 06-16-2011 05:53 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if anyone has watched Storage Wars and said, "Hey, that's my stuff!"?
←Rate | 03-06-2013 07:06 by flinnie Comments (1)  


   messageicon Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I'm getting tired of running and he's catching up to me
←Rate | 12-19-2011 14:01 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon if I ever win the lottery the first thing I'm gonna do is hire a priest, a rabbi and a minister to walk into bars with me
←Rate | 03-28-2011 05:37 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The hostess said to sit wherever I want, but the couple at this table are giving each other weird looks and have totally stopped talking.
←Rate | 08-09-2012 09:59 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to Stop Cyber Bullying: 1. Close your laptop 2. You Win!!
←Rate | 08-04-2011 03:50 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder how long I'd be on hold if my call wasn't important to them..
←Rate | 12-30-2011 08:54 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing says 'I dont take you seriously' like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
←Rate | 01-26-2013 13:07 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
←Rate | 07-11-2014 05:17 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've reached the most difficult moment in parenting: explaining to my son why the first Star Wars movie is Episode 4.
←Rate | 04-15-2012 18:41 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who say "No, and here's why..." need to realize that we stopped listening after the "no" part.
←Rate | 03-22-2012 11:11 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't make me believe there's a shortage of jobs in this country when there are 23 cash registers at WalMart and only 3 cashiers.
←Rate | 05-26-2013 08:10 by flinnie Comments (1)  


   messageicon Hey Subway, just make everything 5 dollars forever and shut the hell up.
←Rate | 10-31-2011 05:28 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Behind every great man is a great woman telling him he's not as great as he thinks he is.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 10:10 by flinnie Comments (0)  




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