Snotty Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Hey guys, remember when you could still refer to your knees as right and left instead of good and bad?,,,,, Good times........ Good times
←Rate | 07-12-2013 09:28 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Chinese waiter put my food down in front of another white guy who looked nothing like me. I get it now.............Wait, That's not my waiter
←Rate | 03-26-2013 21:58 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Always check the height of nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders... * How I learned this rule is not important.
←Rate | 07-23-2014 20:29 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon A vegan friend on FB said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn't eat meat... I think if he had to build his own computer he'd couldn't whine on FB.
←Rate | 03-07-2014 15:29 by snotty Comments (1)  


   messageicon Wow!!, What a day..I volunteered at a soup kitchen, mowed my lawn,, went to 2 Birthday parties,, ran 6 miles,, then told a BUNCH of lies on Facebook.
←Rate | 05-19-2012 13:51 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Frosted Mini Wheats" are my absolute FAVORITE breakfast cereal made from scrap wicker furniture.
←Rate | 04-23-2012 08:24 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hope I never go to jail,, because I haven't memorized a phone number since 2003.
←Rate | 03-23-2013 22:17 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm writing a book about reverse psychology.. Please don't buy it.
←Rate | 04-26-2012 06:59 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My doctor is getting REALLY tired of me asking if the stuff I see in commercials is right for me.
←Rate | 01-05-2013 10:31 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon We all lose if CBS doesn't film the next Survivor aboard a Carnival Cruise Ship.
←Rate | 03-16-2013 22:27 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a guy walking 4 dogs this morning and thought, Wow!.. That guy must be really blind.
←Rate | 08-01-2013 07:03 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes,,, The bathrooms by the pool are a nice touch but completely unnecessary.
←Rate | 08-23-2013 08:00 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Think of a number 1 through 10. Double it, Subtract 1, add 20, multiply it by 5, add 2, divide by 2, close your eyes, dark, isn't it?
←Rate | 03-27-2012 07:53 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, today was a complete waste of clean clothes.
←Rate | 10-20-2013 07:31 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just learned the population of sheep in New Zealand is 60 Million..... How long did someone have to stay awake to figure that out?
←Rate | 04-13-2013 10:32 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thank you for installing Adobe Flash. A new version is available. Install?.. <YES>.. Thank you for installing Adobe Flash. A new version is available. Install?. <YES>.. Thank you for installing Adobe Flash. A new version is available. Install?
←Rate | 09-05-2016 15:50 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I bite into a York peppermint patty,, I get the sensation,,,,,, That I should have bought a Reese's peanut butter cup...
←Rate | 07-02-2012 20:42 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll defend puppies & kittens with my life.. But if your kid's acting like a spoiled brat...I will ABSOLUTELY knock him over when you're not looking.
←Rate | 04-08-2012 08:27 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Molasses is surprisingly tasty,,,, However, I have to admit,,, I have never actually tried any other parts of a mole yet,,so,,,,,,
←Rate | 12-13-2011 13:00 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whole Foods sells $10 gift cards... The perfect gift for a loved one who wants two onions.
←Rate | 10-28-2012 23:31 by snotty Comments (0)  




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