Czovczov Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I don't take my wallet to work because I'm afraid someone will steal it while I'm sleeping.
←Rate | 07-31-2012 14:14 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Get hoarders addicted to crack, they will sell all their s hit..Problem solved.
←Rate | 02-09-2013 11:14 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would never make fun of a fat person at the gym. At least they are trying to do something about it and deserve cheers not jeers.
←Rate | 10-17-2012 09:40 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember when the M in MTV stood for Music not Maternity.
←Rate | 03-12-2012 14:47 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you are on a hamster wheel when you go to work to make enough money to pay for your car so you can get to work.
←Rate | 10-01-2012 10:19 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you're with the right person, you feel the perfect balance of happy and horny.
←Rate | 04-30-2012 00:55 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you post pictures of yourself flaunting money, I am forced to think you're not used to having it.
←Rate | 12-22-2011 14:59 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon We're all sex addicts. Some of us just have better dealers.
←Rate | 09-08-2012 14:41 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love yourself, just don’t do it in public. There are laws against that type of behavior.
←Rate | 01-25-2014 03:43 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon It should be a rule that if you're going to put you kid on a leash, you can't be mad if someone walks up, asks if they bite, and pets them
←Rate | 02-03-2014 11:59 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to add tension to a conference call with a surprise toilet flush.
←Rate | 06-15-2013 16:04 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.
←Rate | 04-17-2013 00:45 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want my name to come up when you go to therapy.
←Rate | 01-27-2013 12:23 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the coffee and went straight for the booze?
←Rate | 03-27-2012 13:50 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's plenty of fish in the sea, but until I catch one, i'm stuck here just holding my rod
←Rate | 01-03-2012 13:34 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would describe my dancing style as “Oh my god, is he having a seizure?”
←Rate | 08-16-2015 10:09 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever invented self checkout greatly overestimated the general intelligence of the human race.
←Rate | 01-13-2013 10:53 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Obama was really Kenyan he would have won the race by now.
←Rate | 11-06-2012 13:47 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw an honest political leader, riding a unicorn.
←Rate | 10-02-2012 05:31 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Warning to parents: If you ever catch your kids reading "50 Shades of Grey" WHATEVER YOU DO DON’T spank them.
←Rate | 03-16-2013 14:41 by Czovczov Comments (0)  




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