Funny Status Messages

   Not sure what's going on. C-3PO and R2-D2 just abruptly took off in a cruiser and said they were headed to New York.

   Just in case you are wondering....I did not go to Jared.

   Just bought a "Flux Capacitor" off eBay!

   "getlost@youLoser.com" seems like a strange email address, are you sure you wrote it down correctly??

   The new ending to Harry Potter is lame. He says Abra Cadabra and Steve Miller reaches out and grabs Voldemort.

   Anyone want to lend me $500.00 until Thursday June 20th, 2047 ?

   I don't think I've ever been told I'm a bad listener.

   In hamster years I'm over 2000 years old. Not bad for a chain smoking sugar addict.

   If it bothers you when I stare and drool, than dont display them!!!

   Just because a few people, most of whom were drunk, said you are pretty, doesn't automatically mean you are a model.

   You're not gonna be in a relationship very long if you can't keep YOUR relationship business to yourself.

   when I heard Gaddafi was found in a large dirty hole I instantly thought...'what a place to hide: Paris Hilton's private part'!

   my spider sense is tingling. Or maybe its just the tequila and beer mixing with the whiskey.

   what the fk is a kardashian, and how the hell do you get a bieber pregnant?

   The truth hurts. So if it's hurtful it must have some element of truth to it.

   I love pressing buttons, so as you can imagine this makes it really difficult for me to be around nipples

   "Do you agree to our Terms and Conditions?" - The question that will someday come back to haunt us all.

   Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, made the dinner.

   I'm getting a seeing eye dog and never looking up from my phone again.

   The best way to get over a girl is get under a different one....