Kisstopher Funny Status Messages

   Let everyone know what is on your mind, but let only a few know what is in your heart.

   Wedding rings are bad for your circulation.

   Poking holes in your friend's condoms; it's all fun and games until your girlfriend ends up pregnant.

   It makes no sense to commit yourself in a relationship if you still expect to have single people's privileges.

   In my lifetime I have learnt that women, who appear quiet, shy and innocent looking in public are actually the biggest freaks behind closed doors.

   Dear London Rioters: There is a big damn difference between, rioting for Freedom, and rioting for Free Stuff.

   Fellas: If your woman starts updating her Facebook status right in the middle of having sex with you, it might be a clue that you are not doing her right.

   When you steal a woman from another man in the middle of their relationship, don't be surprise tomorrow when someone else steals her from you coz she has already proven that she is steal-able.

   I am going to change your relationship status from “Taken” to “Stolen”

   Secret Lovers my a$$! Why be someone's dirty little secret when you can be someone else's pride and joy?

   Lord gimme patience...or an untraceable handgun.

   Some friends I would trust with my life, others I wouldn't trust with my drink and the rest I would be mad to trust with my girlfriend.

   Do it today. it might be illegal tomorrow.

   What happens at the sleepovers, Stays at the sleepovers.

   Sluts should be called, HUMPTY DUMPTY. Coz first they get HUMPED, then they get DUMPED.

   I just saw a baby with a t-shirt that said, "I'm what happened in Vegas!”

   To people who say love is more important than money, have you ever tried paying your bills with a hug?

   Q. What is the real purpose of FOREPLAY? A. To make sure it's REALLY a woman.

   Being faithful to your boyfriend or girlfriend should be common sense. But there is always that one retard that did not get the memo.

   If I had a pu$$y, I would never be broke!