StonerDudee Funny Status Messages

   People that are against smoking pot are the ones that need it the most..

   Boy: Do you like parties? Girl: Yes, why? Boy: Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!

   Nice guys finish last because they make sure their woman cums first. ; )

   Rationally, I now understand that my parents were always Santa, but I still don't get how they made it to all those houses in one night.

   What did the elephant say to the naked man? I don't know how you manage to breathe through that thing.

   If the lion wasn't a coward and the Scarecrow had a brain, they would have warned the Tinman that he was better off without a heart.

   I'm not saying my wife's a fat b*tch, but I've had to put all the chocolate biscuits well out of reach. On the floor.

   “Don't drink and drive, When you can Smoke and fly! “

   No one thinks the screenshot of your text messages are as funny as you do. No one

   When I get a headache,I take 2 aspirins and keep away from children,just like the bottle says LOL!

   I was gonna vote. But the I got high.

   The death of Friends star David Schwimmer this afternoon came as a huge shock to me, but it's made me realize how this s ite is a primary source of news to many people. Which is why you just believed me that David Schwimmer is dead.

   Why did the snowman smile? Cause the snowblower was coming.

   This girl I know said she has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207

   This is an "A" and "B" conversation, so "C" your way out before "D" jumps over "E" and "F"s you up like a "G".

   My dream is to wake up to 2 girls. One will say "good morning sweetheart" and the other will say "good morning dad"