Kisstopher Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My life is a constant panic attack occasionally interrupted by a nap
←Rate | 01-05-2013 05:30 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never underestimate a woman's ability to make you apologize when she is the one who is clearly in the wrong.
←Rate | 01-05-2013 07:04 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so high I could eat a cloud.
←Rate | 01-05-2013 11:42 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon A cop stopped me and said "License please" so I offered him a donut and said "I donut have one" and we laughed and laughed and now I am behind bars.
←Rate | 01-09-2013 00:20 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon That a wkward m oment when you realize the last stair you thought was there isn't.
←Rate | 01-09-2013 01:48 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love myself but I'm not "post pictures of myself everyday on my Facebook wall" love myself.
←Rate | 01-09-2013 23:56 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon So Taylor Swift is single? Again? Please allow me to express my sincere shock at this sudden and unexpected turn of events.
←Rate | 01-10-2013 11:44 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Real men kill spiders for their women with no goddamn backtalk.
←Rate | 01-13-2013 10:48 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're happy and you know it.......you're probably single.
←Rate | 01-14-2013 06:35 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon The sun rises with coffee and sets with whiskey.
←Rate | 01-15-2013 13:19 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know you shouldn't text and drive but I've only had 2-3 texts tonight, tops, so I should be okay to drive.
←Rate | 01-16-2013 11:57 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just wrote "your" instead of "you're", now I have to knock out my teeth and live in a trailer.
←Rate | 01-17-2013 04:35 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon The sex was great, but I faked the cuddle.
←Rate | 01-17-2013 04:51 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet guys are getting better at finding the clitoris now that pubes are extinct.
←Rate | 01-17-2013 05:19 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've tried everything to get to sleep. Well, except that thing where you shut off your phone and close your eyes, but let's not get crazy.
←Rate | 01-19-2013 13:26 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would exercise, but then all the sprinkles would fall off my cupcake.
←Rate | 01-21-2013 13:46 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't put nipples on the letter o when there's two of them next to each other, then you're no fun and we can't hangout. B⊙⊙bs.
←Rate | 01-21-2013 14:02 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have an actual date this weekend so if any of you are in love with me, you better say something or forever hold your peace.
←Rate | 01-22-2013 12:56 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon When two people love each other deeply, nothing is impossible. Except deciding on where to eat.
←Rate | 01-23-2013 14:15 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know, Microsoft, if you had called it Bang instead of Bing, you'd have destroyed Google. Example: I just Banged Catherine Zeta Jones.
←Rate | 01-24-2013 13:51 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  




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