StonerDudee Funny Status Messages
Search results for status messages containing 'StonerDudee': View All Messages
Page: 27 of 28
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
When a woman says "He used me for sex". It really means 'I only shagged him to get something else out of him, but it failed'.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
The average person has sex 89 times a year. This is gonna be one hell of a week.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
The house from Home Alone is up for sale for 2.5 million dollars. F*ck that, the area's full of burglars.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
News: "3 Cliff Walkers Fall to Their Death" Wow, what were the chances of them all having the same name?
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
My girlfriend just got a very interesting fortune cookie: 'Every exit is an entrance to a new experience' "Wow!" she said. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" I f*cking hope so.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
My goal for 2015 is to accomplish the goals of 2014 which I should have done in 2013 because I made a promise in 2012 which I planned on keeping back in 2011
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, if that doesn't accurately describe my life I don't know what does
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Pepsi and Coke can't even be in the same restaurant together and society wants us all to get along. Pffftt.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
"I'm getting sick of eating airline food all the time." Said the Malaysian shark.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
You posted a drunk selfie last night at 2:04 AM and then deleted it five minutes later. But I took a screenshot. Let's negotiate.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
People dropout of school and get a job at McDonald's talking bout "on my grind" yeah okay, GRIND me up a Oreo McFlurry with yo dumb ass
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
I'm off to bed. For those of you who wish to add a touch of authenticity to your fantasies, the sheets are pale blue...
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Look, nobody can tell the sex of your baby, so please either pierce it's ears or draw a mustache on that ambiguous little mother f*cker
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Whenever being single gets me down, I like to close my eyes, take a deep breath and then go do whatever I want pretty much nonstop.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
I bought a rug from IKEA that ended up being just a needle and 50 lbs. of thread.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
You don't have the right to say "the struggle is real" when your ass is still living with your parents.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
You had me at 0 mutual friends..
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Sometimes I feel like a loser for spending so much time on Facebook. Then I remember there are people out there who comment on pornhub videos
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Saw a huge spider the size of a walnut while I was taking a shower so I pulled off the curtain rod & pole vaulted myself into the hallway.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
If you're thinking of hanging out with your ex, jerk off first and see how you feel after that.
[Search Results] [View All Messages]