StonerDudee Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I think my girlfriend can transform into a bee. She only transforms in the bathroom though, I always hear the buzzing sound.
←Rate | 07-08-2014 13:26 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don't have a moon where I live.
←Rate | 07-17-2014 11:32 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spoiler alert: Your '97 Nissan Sentra doesn't need one.
←Rate | 08-08-2014 16:29 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm planning to adopt a dog soon, it wasn't my first choice but my doctor told me I can't have any biologically.
←Rate | 08-08-2014 16:32 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon How I feel when you complain about your boyfriend to me is how Yahoo feels when people use them to search for Google's homepage.
←Rate | 08-08-2014 16:34 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tupac has been dead for 18 years and still makes albums and you can't text me back?
←Rate | 08-08-2014 16:35 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon If guys were smart, they'd forget the nightclubs and watch the supermarket for girls who buy frozen dinners and cat food.
←Rate | 08-08-2014 16:39 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon My idea of heaven consists of all of the things I'd go to hell for.
←Rate | 08-08-2014 16:41 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Martin Scorsese's film "The Wolf of Wall Street" broke a record by using the word "F**k" or "F**king" 506 times. That actually beats a record set by my dad in 2003, trying to put an Ikea chair together.
←Rate | 09-11-2014 21:22 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sure, whitepeople can't say the "n-word" but at least we can say phrases like, "Thanks for the warning, Officer" and, "hey dad"
←Rate | 09-11-2014 21:24 by StonerDudee Comments (1)  


   messageicon I prefer to call it a "Ta-Da" list. Cause it'd be fu*king amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.
←Rate | 10-02-2014 12:06 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I was supposed to share them, they wouldn't be called nachos.
←Rate | 10-02-2014 17:24 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have never been paid for sex, but holy mother of god, there were a few instances when I should have been.
←Rate | 10-03-2014 12:25 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet the guy that was looking forward to his next life and came back reincarnated as me is really disappointed.
←Rate | 10-03-2014 15:17 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not opposed to manscaping, but I don't see the point of cutting the grass until somebody takes interest in the property.
←Rate | 10-16-2014 19:33 by StonerDudee Comments (1)  


   messageicon It was only after the other brothers of The Jackson 5 refused to let him join that little Samuel L. Jackson first became angry.
←Rate | 10-16-2014 19:36 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tell me more about this victum role you play due to the circumstances that you've created for yourself.
←Rate | 10-16-2014 20:38 by StonerDudee Comments (1)  


   messageicon I saw this big guy in brand new Nikes running down the road with a huge TV in his arms. I thought briefly, "That looks like mine." Then I realized, mine wears adidas.
←Rate | 10-18-2014 21:12 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing says "I've already given up on this day" quite like a Taco Bell breakfast.
←Rate | 10-21-2014 14:38 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why can't the ice cream man just get a fu*kin liquor license already
←Rate | 10-21-2014 14:39 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  




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