StonerDudee Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I don't know why Tampax and Hershey have not joined forces yet. Taping a pack of Reese's to a box of tampons could literally save lives.
←Rate | 10-02-2013 13:18 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did we try giving the government a snickers?
←Rate | 10-02-2013 20:34 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was sitting on the toilet when the guy in the stall next to me started smoking. Disgusting. I nearly couldn't finish my sandwich.
←Rate | 10-02-2013 20:49 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Based on their music alone, I think it's safe to say that Adele and Drake were hurt by the same man.
←Rate | 10-02-2013 20:49 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend was upset that he lost out on a promotion at work to an attractive older woman. I told him not to cry over skilled MILF.
←Rate | 10-04-2013 13:50 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Calm down check out guy, you don't have to inspect my $20 so hard, If I was talented enough to make my own, I wouldn't be in Quickie Mart.
←Rate | 10-04-2013 19:47 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when my customers send angry emails to my boss just because I answered all of their questions with "Google it, f*ckface."
←Rate | 10-04-2013 19:51 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is, intelligent men don't get into relationships.
←Rate | 10-04-2013 19:52 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Scooby Doo taught us that the real monsters are humans.
←Rate | 10-04-2013 19:57 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon 'LSD makes users lose weight' That makes sense, it's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it.
←Rate | 10-14-2013 21:42 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon It all went to hell when attacking what we hate became more important than defending what we love.
←Rate | 10-22-2013 13:17 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen. Her: You just want to have sex with me. Me: And you're smart too, I like that.
←Rate | 10-22-2013 20:55 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you said coke I assumed you meant cocaine. No thank you. Soda is bad for you.
←Rate | 10-25-2013 02:05 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim, Kourtney and Khloe. The only KKK that will let bIack guys inside them.
←Rate | 10-25-2013 21:40 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Halloween really is the perfect time to get rid of all those Chinese food condiment packets.
←Rate | 10-31-2013 00:09 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is everyone so obsessed with the idea of love? If you're dying to be hurt so badly, I've got a baseball bat for that.
←Rate | 11-03-2013 01:29 by StonerDudee Comments (1)  


   messageicon I have the same thought when I watch horror flicks as when I watch my wedding videos. I should have known who the psycho was much sooner.
←Rate | 11-03-2013 14:59 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon My life is like a never-ending episode of The Walking Dead where nothing happens but somehow everything is f*cked.
←Rate | 11-03-2013 15:04 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've created a shoe made out of Lego, so when you step on Lego it doesn't hurt. You just get taller.
←Rate | 11-03-2013 15:06 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I made this status nice and short so you can just move onto the next one.
←Rate | 11-03-2013 16:14 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  




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