andrew jackson Funny Status Messages
Search results for status messages containing 'andrew jackson': View All Messages
Page: 2 of 24
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
We'll look back someday and realize the rise of the machines began with automatic toilets flushing before we're done.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
my life is like Jurassic Park but with no dinosaurs, just the part about a fat guy who resents his employer
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
every machine is a smoke machine if you use it wrong enough
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
FACT: If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
I was thinking "how are they going to make a movie with Grumpy Cat, she only has one emotion" but I guess if Kristen Stewart can do it...
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
It’s amazing how the lowly potato gives us potato chips, french fries, and vodka. Get it together, every other vegetable
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Door bells should be made illegal in commercials. Pet owners know what I’m talking about.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don't.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
People with the loudest car audio systems usually have the worst taste in music.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Sometimes I walk up to a plant and exhale carbon dioxide all over it. Did I save its life? Maybe. Am I a hero? That's for history to decide.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Most of being an adult is marveling at the date and saying how fast the year is going by.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
There’s no excuse for laziness.. but if you find one, let me know.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Why do people who insult themselves get mad when you agree with them?
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
I've finally decided to do something about my weight. Lie.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Fun game for parents: Scream in horror the first time your child loses a tooth.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
I got a job as a store greeter. But apparently "You again?" wasn't the greeting they had in mind.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
I'm the Rain Man of knowing exactly how many fries you stole while I went to get napkins.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
FYI: THIS IS THE FURTHEST IN HISTORY ANYONE'S EVER GONE!!!
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
If you need some help at Home Depot and are being ignored, get on one of their step ladders.
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Ten seconds of drug commercials are spent telling you what the drug is for and the rest is spent basically daring you to take it.
[Search Results] [View All Messages]