Eddy Funny Status Messages

   I was at a restaurant tonight & I saw the "caution wet floor" sign. I wonder how blind people know. those signs don't have braille

   Everyone is wearing masks & school starts back soon....the teachers are gonna sound like Charlie Brown's teacher....wah wah wah

   did you know that Julie Andrews will no longer endorse cheap lipstick?.... It crumbles easily & makes her breath smell. she explained "the super color fragil lipstick crumbles easily & gives me halitosis"

   if this 2nd stimulus goes through, I want this payment in pennies so I can swim in it like Scrooge McDuck

   When I see all these zoom video chat conferences, I think of the opening scene of "The Brady Bunch"

   Coronavirus is like a Thanos you can't see

   I've been social distancing from the gym for years

   Lets send the coronavirus tiger to Carole Baskin

   My friend is terrible at geography...his grade is below C level

   since camping spoons are white, are they still considered "silverware" or should they be called "whiteware" ?

   what do you call it when a cow is sitting down? ... ground beef

   Making love is like baking a cake...most men don't know how to work the stove

   I read Marie Kondo's book about tidying up...now I'm getting a divorce

   excuses are like farts.... anyone can make them but nobody likes them

   what do you call a group of short people on a merry-go-round? ...a midget spinner

   new drinking game...every time a member of congress coughs, take a drink

   idk who "go round" is but all the kids on the playground want to marry her

   every summer people try to work on their "summer body" ...i've been working on my winter body for years

   if your PC gets a virus from a porn site, is that a STD for computers?

   people worry about their "summer body" but I've been working on my "winter weight" for years