@truebeachbabe Funny Status Messages

   I've heard that hair dye goes to your head. You must use the Nice & Easy brand.

   Attracting men is just like fishing. You just have to wiggle the bait.

   I listed Starbucks as my emergency contact at work.

   I'm not a social drinker. It's mostly work related.

   Why does the new thomas the train commercial say it's so easy to score??

   Don't slap my ass then apologize.

   You need to carry Lifesavers on you religiously because they will serve their purpose. In your pockets & in your car. Do it. Trust me.

   Please hold while I put on my "Gosh I really care" face.

   already on the naughty list. Santa... I can explain.

   My Mom just said "I'm still hot! It just comes in flashes!"

   Born to shop, not to mop.

   Girls just want to have funds!

   No coffee no workee.

   I found a case of Natty Light on the floor of a random aisle in the grocery store. After I returned it to the coolers, I felt like I did my good deed for the day.

   If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

   Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

   A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

   Stupidity is not a crime, so you are free to go.

   Men are like movies. After 3 plays, you want to return them.

   Hey Ashton, when Demi is too old to kick it, I'm available!