JEBI Funny Status Messages

   Another pair of my socks are getting a divorce...

   So you think you can fly a plane would be a fun show to watch...

   My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn't like it when I use other toothpastes...

   Found out today that midgets dont like being called midgets....AND they really dont like being called people McNuggets...

   Props to our cat for getting excited about eating the same food EVERYDAY!

   After putting up xmas lights last night I'm wondering why no one hasn't opened up a business that untangles xmas lights...

   I wonder how hard J-LO has to laugh for her ass to fall off?

   My American friends take a moment to "g00gle" "idlenomore" your Canadian neighbours are starting a revolution one tweet at a time...

   I think its about time we put the movie 2012 in the comedy section...

   Well it turns out, the answer wasn't at the bottom of the bottle, I guess I'll have to check in the other 23...

   I turned my phone onto "Airplane Mode" and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever...

   My favorite vegetable is bacon...

   Lance Armstrong cheated this whole time? Yeah right...next thing you're going to tell me is that Subway's footlong sandwiches are only 11 inches long...silly people...

   Next time your bf/gf get mad attach a cape around their neck and say "Now you're super mad!" If they laugh...marry them...

   I'm going on a vodka diet. Apparently you can lose 3 days in one week...

   The only footsteps I would follow are those of a landmine deactivation technician...

   PSY does the gangnam style dance so much...don't you think he should've lost some weight by now?

   I'd kill for a microwave that plays Europe's “The Final Countdown” during the last 30 seconds.

   One time I farted so loud in my sleep they had to stop the bus...

   I guess we know what the Pope is giving up for lent...being the Pope...