jdpower Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon When is that 1/2 man on '2 and and 1/2 Men' going to officially become a man?
←Rate | 05-21-2010 01:58 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tried to log into my WellsFargo.com account with my MILF-Hunter.com password. Oh, whatever, like you never did that!
←Rate | 05-21-2010 02:08 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon After five minutes of forced conversation, I've just realized that this person sitting across from me is not, in fact, Tony Danza
←Rate | 05-21-2010 02:11 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not to scare anyone, but we're only a decade or so away from grandmothers named Amber or Brittany.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 02:15 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon BP says their latest cleanup technique is called a "Dirty Sanchez." I don't want details.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 02:17 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sarah Palin thinks US law should be based on the Bible. As the most attractive female in national politics, I think she'd be far more successful doing an arm-in-arm political fashion tour with the most attractive man in Washington, Ann Coulter.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 02:22 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sick of Canadians sneaking across the border and stealing our hockey jobs.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 02:25 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon The founder of 'Jews for Jesus' died today.. the funeral will be catered by 'Vegetarians for Meat'
←Rate | 05-21-2010 17:10 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon While I like the idiom "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar", it remains the unvarnished truth that sh!t attracts more flies than anything.
←Rate | 05-24-2010 18:44 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon South African authorities are estimating that 40,000 sex workers will trickle in for the World Cup. Wow! I had no idea hookers like soccer so much!
←Rate | 05-24-2010 18:46 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I propose we plug the Gulf oil leak with BP executives.
←Rate | 05-26-2010 00:00 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next for BP: they're going to add balsamic vinegar to the oil; turning the Gulf into a nice vinaigrette.
←Rate | 06-08-2010 01:36 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Justin Bieber is approximately the same diameter as the oil pipe in the Gulf......is anybody thinking what I'm thinking?
←Rate | 06-08-2010 01:38 by jdpower Comments (2)  


   messageicon Joran van der Sloot arrested for murder? Wow! If only there were warning signs.
←Rate | 06-08-2010 01:40 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon How much would it suck if your name was really "Ed Hardy"?
←Rate | 06-08-2010 01:42 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not to be insensitive, but this oil spill better not affect my access to delicious pelican meat.
←Rate | 06-09-2010 16:32 by jdpower Comments (1)  


   messageicon looks like I wont be updating my status anytime soon..
←Rate | 06-15-2010 13:49 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attention bullies: if you're looking for lunch money, there are tons of nerds hoarding around outside Apple Stores right now.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 12:00 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm typing this update because some fat, ugly wildebeest just sat across from me in the lunchroom and I want to look busy.. thank you for your support and understanding. It means a lot to me in these times of uncertaint -ok she just left, that was close.
←Rate | 06-28-2010 14:58 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I worry I've been wasting my time, I cheer myself up by remembering I have never read a Twilight book.
←Rate | 07-06-2010 14:04 by jdpower Comments (0)  




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