jc Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm convinced this formula is correct: big car stereo = small wiener
←Rate | 12-21-2010 17:29 by JC Comments (2)  


   messageicon I can't believe I wasn't paying attention at 1:11 on 1/1/11. Argh. I waited all my life for that to happen. Darn, darn, darn it. 2:22 on 2/2/22 just won't be the same.
←Rate | 01-01-2011 17:55 by JC Comments (2)  


   messageicon it bad that I just lit the cigarette of the pregnant woman I just bought a drink for?
←Rate | 01-05-2011 16:22 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think Facebook needs another relationship type: Domestic Incarceration
←Rate | 01-27-2011 02:53 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon The older I get, the older old is.
←Rate | 02-05-2011 18:00 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Went grocery shopping this morning. I noticed that the bottle of household bleach I bought has a safety seal on its opening. Glad my floors or toilet won't be poisoned. Interestingly, however, my toothpaste does not have a safety seal. Thanks Uncle Sam!
←Rate | 02-09-2011 11:39 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon there a better scream-along song than Journey's Don't Stop Believin'?
←Rate | 03-04-2011 02:56 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a fast driver, I have certain rules when I come to a red light intersection with two or more lanes. In order of importance: Never get behind a: 1) A semi, bus or large truck, 2) Drivers with grey hair, 3) A Prius (or other hybrid), and 4) A mini van
←Rate | 03-13-2011 13:41 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon The month of March - In like a lion, out like a lamb. A ferocious, saber-toothed, axe-wielding, lamb. Brrrrr...
←Rate | 03-30-2011 08:06 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I say, "I never do that"...what I mean is "I haven't done that in the past five minutes."
←Rate | 04-05-2011 12:04 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't make me go all CAPS LOCKS on you...
←Rate | 04-22-2011 11:43 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I blocked you on Facebook, what makes you think I want to talk to you in real life?
←Rate | 04-28-2011 09:47 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you remember Sit and Spin? No, not the toy... your early drinking days.
←Rate | 05-06-2011 14:32 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon For those of you who won't be joining us in Heaven tomorrow but going to the other place below, Pauly Shore will be the guest on The View.
←Rate | 05-20-2011 23:49 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I use my cell phone as backlighting at night when I flip someone off so they can better see my finger.
←Rate | 05-30-2011 11:51 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't want to brag, but I'm pretty confident I could win a spelling be.
←Rate | 06-04-2011 07:22 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I find it astonishing I can remember every wordto Wild Wild West by Will Smith, which I haven't heard in 10 years, but can't find my keys
←Rate | 07-28-2011 23:15 by Jc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I read today that 99% of women don't like men in leather pants. That is convenient...because 99% of men in leather pants don't like women.
←Rate | 04-25-2013 13:14 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I now pronounce you, "husband and what the hell did I just do..."
←Rate | 09-25-2013 17:19 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tom has a lot of space. He named his website very accurately.
←Rate | 05-15-2014 17:44 by JC Comments (0)  




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