gil Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon more kisses begin with Budweiser or good weed than Kay
←Rate | 04-23-2011 20:44 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Easter Bunny just left me a bunch of tiny brown chocolate eggs. Can't wait to eat them. Yummy!
←Rate | 04-23-2011 22:14 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon On this day, 25 years ago, Geraldo Rivera opened Al Capone's vault. WTF is he still working?
←Rate | 04-23-2011 22:57 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't cops have something better to do than arrest non-violent casual Marijuana smokers?
←Rate | 04-24-2011 00:20 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just think how interesting facebook would be if there was a "cheating on spouse with _______" relationship status
←Rate | 04-27-2011 00:14 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Twitter was invented to teach women how to communicate silently in 140 characters or less.
←Rate | 04-28-2011 17:26 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now accepting applications for FWB. Several positions open. Please email me photos and resume.
←Rate | 04-28-2011 18:38 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breaking News: Barack Obama to deliver his re-election victory speech tomorrow....
←Rate | 05-02-2011 00:17 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon "After seeing Kate and William getting married and the Pope's beatification this weekend, my life is complete. I don't care if I die tomorrow" - Osama Bin Laden
←Rate | 05-02-2011 17:45 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎"It's God's job to forgive Bin Laden. It was our job to arrange the meeting." - United States Navy SEALS
←Rate | 05-02-2011 19:51 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎"There goes the neighborhood" - Spongebob Squarepants
←Rate | 05-03-2011 01:53 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon If anyone believes Osama Bin Laden was really buried at sea, I have a bridge in New York I want to sell you.
←Rate | 05-03-2011 03:02 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jell-O: Doubling the global demand for supply of Vodka since 1923
←Rate | 05-09-2011 03:32 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon To show my support for all the democracy protesters in the Middle East, I am shaving my balls today(They were getting hairy and I needed an excuse)
←Rate | 05-11-2011 18:16 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon I listed the Federal Government as a dependent on my taxes this year
←Rate | 05-12-2011 15:22 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear John Edwards, Thank-you, Thank-you, Thank-you!, Sincerely, Anthony Weiner
←Rate | 06-02-2011 23:15 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was walking down the street and saw my Arab friend shaking a rug on his porch. I shouted out to him "What's wrong Ahmed, won't start?"
←Rate | 06-04-2011 13:05 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bill and Ted wrote the best bible when they said "Be excellent to each other". no other commandments or words of wisdom needed.
←Rate | 06-29-2011 00:19 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Casey Anthony trial ends today. Roger Clemens trial begins today. Coincidence?.... I think not.
←Rate | 07-05-2011 15:09 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I'd like to thank my celebrity life-coaches Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen, Nicholas Cage, Wesley Snipes, & Nick Nolte for the overwhelming positive effect they've had on my recent life."
←Rate | 08-05-2011 12:08 by Gil Comments (0)  




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