dopey420 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between "sh!t" and "syphilis."
←Rate | 01-25-2011 17:02 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot them?
←Rate | 01-25-2011 17:29 by Dopey420 Comments (1)  


   messageicon The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.
←Rate | 01-25-2011 17:32 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.
←Rate | 01-25-2011 17:35 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two years ago I married a lovely young virgin, and if that doesn't change soon, I'm gonna divorce her.
←Rate | 01-25-2011 17:45 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thinks people get mad when you don't use korrect grammar and spelin, because they can't just copy/paste it to thier Facebook. Sorry you had to add a comma, it must be such an inconvenience.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 04:49 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mirrors don't talk, but lucky for you they don't laugh either
←Rate | 01-26-2011 09:54 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why does the 30 minutes before work go by so fast, causing me to be late. But the last 30 minutes go by slow, causing me to be pissed off.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 21:47 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
←Rate | 01-27-2011 07:25 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commericals that says "Not available in all states"?
←Rate | 01-30-2011 00:57 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A cop pulls over a guy. He says "Sir your eyes are alittle glazed, have you been drinking?" The man replies "Gee officer your eyes look alittle glazed too, have you been eating doughnuts?"
←Rate | 01-30-2011 01:19 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Confucious say, "Is good for girl to meet boy in park... but is better for boy to park meat in girl."
←Rate | 01-30-2011 01:32 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the difference between light and hard? You can go to bed with a light on.
←Rate | 01-30-2011 01:49 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This girl walks into her dry cleaning store and tells the guy, "I've got another dress for you to clean." Hard of hearing the man says "come again?" She replies, "no mustard."
←Rate | 01-30-2011 18:51 by Dopey420 Comments (4)  


   messageicon Jack and Jill went up the hill, both with a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with two fifty, go figure.
←Rate | 01-31-2011 04:52 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a mime shoots you, must he use a silencer?
←Rate | 01-31-2011 04:56 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What does OJ have that every man wants? A Heisman trophy and a dead ex-wife!
←Rate | 01-31-2011 04:59 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's green and smells like pork? Kermit the frog's finger.
←Rate | 01-31-2011 05:01 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.
←Rate | 01-31-2011 05:18 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's 69+69? Dinner for four.
←Rate | 01-31-2011 05:21 by Dopey420 Comments (1)  




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