banjaxed Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Just wrote a new song "I Can't Get Over a Girl Like You So Get Up and Answer The Phone Yourself"
←Rate | 06-18-2011 21:34 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife decided to take up violin with good intentions but she couldn't decide which chin to rest it on
←Rate | 06-21-2011 20:56 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Uncle always told me our side of the family had Irish Alzhiemers , That's where you forget everything but the grudge
←Rate | 08-14-2011 19:49 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon I AM THE BOSS OF THIS HOUSE AND WHAT I SAY G.........hang on gotta go , I think I hear my wife coming
←Rate | 08-29-2011 21:07 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon When people ask me if I want to stay on their friends list I just send a short message saying "Don't Taze me Bro"
←Rate | 09-08-2011 16:23 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon WARNING: if you see posts offering free clip of the new Nickelback album DO NOT CLICK. It links to a free clip of the new Nickelback album.
←Rate | 09-13-2011 22:19 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives. I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished, so I have managed to finish off a bottle of Merlot, a bott
←Rate | 09-16-2011 15:11 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today a 5 foot tall grashopper spit in my face, I went to my doctor and he did tell me he heard there was a really nasty bug going around
←Rate | 09-19-2011 18:47 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon Either you love bacon or you're wrong
←Rate | 09-29-2011 21:52 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon I may be old but I got to see all the cool bands
←Rate | 10-03-2011 21:53 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon She's been pounded more times than Johnny Bench's catchers mitt
←Rate | 10-13-2011 22:12 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon Great news for YOU , I found a prostitute that charges by the inch, I obviusly can't afford her but I figured I'd pass it onto you so you could enjoy a cheap night out
←Rate | 11-03-2011 13:41 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon AMISH DRIVE BY SHOOTING:................."Clip Clop Clip Clop Clip Clop Clip Clop Cop....bang bang bang bang bang bang....Clip Clop Clip Clop Clip clop
←Rate | 11-07-2011 21:42 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the first time I realized I was dyslexic was when I went to a Toga party dressed as a goat
←Rate | 11-23-2011 23:24 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you hear about the Nascar driver who turned to boxing....he ran around the ring 300 times then knocked the guy out
←Rate | 11-24-2011 14:23 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon How Many Blondes Does It Take To Change A Diaper......................Ask Hugh Hefner
←Rate | 12-05-2011 20:36 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you play a Nickleback song backwards you will hear Satanic messages, even worse, if you play it forward you'll hear Nickleback
←Rate | 01-04-2012 21:33 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon OFF is the general direction in which I would like you to Fuck
←Rate | 01-09-2012 20:40 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just bought a Dyson ball cleaner.......I should read the intructions because I'm pretty sure I'm not usng it properly
←Rate | 01-10-2012 21:41 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon Revenge .....Naaaaa , I'm too lazy , I'm just going to sit here and let Karma Fvck you up
←Rate | 01-31-2012 21:09 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  




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