Onecuwldood Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
←Rate | 08-07-2011 21:07 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
←Rate | 08-07-2011 21:09 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best things in life are free...............So how many kittens do you want?
←Rate | 08-12-2011 21:28 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to my acupuncturist today. He told me to take two thumbtacks and call him in the morning.
←Rate | 08-12-2011 21:42 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
←Rate | 08-12-2011 21:43 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never pick a fight with an ugly person;........They've got nothing to lose.
←Rate | 08-12-2011 21:43 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hard work never kills anybody who supervises it.
←Rate | 08-12-2011 21:44 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments.
←Rate | 08-12-2011 21:45 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One said to the other, "How do you like that? Pay toilets."
←Rate | 08-13-2011 22:15 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Vegetarian" is an old Indian word for "bad hunter."
←Rate | 08-13-2011 22:18 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler!
←Rate | 09-02-2011 17:17 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon Woke up with several traffic signs and safety cones in my bedroom... What did I do last night?
←Rate | 12-11-2011 09:26 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many exercise/workout videos does a person have to buy before seeing results?
←Rate | 02-02-2012 07:07 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's official, I'm not gonna remember unless there's a Facebook event for it...
←Rate | 02-26-2012 01:44 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wear glasses because I like to dramatically remove them to display anger. It was awkward doing that with contact lens...
←Rate | 03-01-2012 17:25 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, it's easy to tell I'm married. It's Friday night and I'm at home updating my facebook status...
←Rate | 03-16-2012 21:08 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon The current administration is finally getting through to people. I can not count how many people I saw going "Green" yesterday! These are truly exciting days!!!
←Rate | 03-18-2012 08:59 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.
←Rate | 04-14-2012 11:13 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon Red wine goes with meatloaf, right?
←Rate | 05-14-2012 19:32 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon If these walls could talk, I'd move out because having talking walls would a little freaky...
←Rate | 07-27-2012 21:07 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  




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