jitney Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating

Search Messages:

Search results for status messages containing 'jitney': View All Messages
Page: 2 of 20

   messageicon Great Thanks to these doushbags, now I gotta get a background check for a pressure cooker at Sears......
←Rate | 04-19-2013 12:47 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Please do not start naming your future newborn "blue Ivy", yellow mustard, dark orchid, pastel white, purple rain, orange caramel or anything that don't make sense; we already hav ppl named after cars(Mercedes, Infinite, Camry, Alexis).
←Rate | 01-10-2012 14:53 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon In honor of Dr. Martin Luther King I will be marching 12 miles to work today in the middle of the street....
←Rate | 01-15-2012 14:11 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've Realized Something Today.. No Matter How Hard You Try To Plan Your Life.. Life Has A Plan For You All On Its Own..
←Rate | 02-14-2012 02:46 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon DonaldTrump is doing one mean Alec Baldwin impression tonight.
←Rate | 10-19-2016 21:42 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Its that time of the year where the work office decides to do secret santa again and this time its under $25....I'm getting my co-worker a pack tooth brush with about $30 worth of tooth paste!
←Rate | 11-25-2013 18:47 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Please stop inviting me to play CANDY CRUSH I'm type 2 Diabetic & I'm watching my sugar!!!
←Rate | 06-05-2013 23:50 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dearly beloved God, I wanna take a minute, not to ask for anything from you. But simply to say thank you, for all I have.
←Rate | 08-19-2017 17:39 by jitney Comments (3)  

   messageicon would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you meddling kids.
←Rate | 01-12-2012 14:16 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon If this aint the most ghetto-est NFL Superbowl ever.....
←Rate | 02-03-2013 21:00 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon You ever look at someone and daydream about them in the most erotic way....yeah that was me today dreaming about my female co-worker shutting the eff up and fixing me a sandwich to eat......
←Rate | 11-19-2013 19:08 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate it when the people who owe me money post about how much they got back from the IRS..............
←Rate | 01-12-2012 13:12 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate when people asks me: What happened to the sweet old you? Well B**chhhes like you killed it!!
←Rate | 06-14-2013 20:46 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon Well, If this was 1999, would you have ever thought 13 years from now you could sit on the toilet while updating your facebook status about the End of the world again??? I wonder what will be doing 13yrs in the future from now.......
←Rate | 12-21-2012 15:56 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon If facebook gets shutdown will Tom send me my password from Myspace back?
←Rate | 01-20-2012 11:16 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't have time to babysit ppl's feelings. Speak up. How I'm suppose to know what's wrong with you?
←Rate | 06-19-2012 15:21 by jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hear a bunch of weird animals, beeps, and clicking. Wish me luck people, I'm going into walmart......
←Rate | 06-23-2013 02:36 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I win the Power Ball, I will buy two lbs of cheese from Whole Food.
←Rate | 01-11-2016 19:52 by Jitney Comments (0)  

   messageicon When girls flash its called, "girls gone wild" when men flash its call..."America's most wanted" or Pedofiliers/Stalkers
←Rate | 06-23-2014 17:50 by Jitney Comments (1)  

   messageicon if you didn't hear it with your own ears or see it with you own eyes. Don't invent it with your small mind, and share it with your big mouth.
←Rate | 09-30-2013 11:45 by Jitney Comments (0)  

[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left