banjaxed Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I was sitting across the bus today from a very sexy Thai girl...and I kept saying to myself "Don't get an erection , Don't get an erection"....But she did
←Rate | 12-29-2012 19:08 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon Great news for YOU , I found a prostitute that charges by the inch, I obviusly can't afford her but I figured I'd pass it onto you so you could enjoy a cheap night out
←Rate | 11-03-2011 13:41 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the first time I realized I was dyslexic was when I went to a Toga party dressed as a goat
←Rate | 11-23-2011 23:24 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ohhhhhh , when your's down near the sea and an eel bites your knee....Thats a MORAY
←Rate | 03-19-2012 13:20 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just bought a Dyson ball cleaner.......I should read the intructions because I'm pretty sure I'm not usng it properly
←Rate | 01-10-2012 21:41 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon The closest I come to cooking with gas is when I break wind while frying a steak
←Rate | 10-22-2010 15:21 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please do not open any messages from me that are entitled "Do not open , This is a virus which will destroy your hard drive then come to your house and donkey punch you in the back of the head"
←Rate | 11-08-2010 13:26 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apple Maps projects Obama to win Paraguay
←Rate | 11-06-2012 23:33 by banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon lindsay Lohan and Charle Sheen have signed for a new sit com called 2 and 1/2 grams
←Rate | 03-09-2011 10:39 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife and I do it Doggy Style , I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead
←Rate | 05-28-2011 15:06 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good Morning , I see the assassins have failed
←Rate | 03-22-2011 14:22 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon me and the wife do it doggy style , I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead
←Rate | 12-02-2010 04:57 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have SEXDAILY......I mean DYSLEXIA
←Rate | 03-12-2012 14:32 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon was going to go to Walmart today but my tie dyed t-shirt and my sweatpants with whole in the arse of em were in the wash, besides , I had a haircut yesteday and it's neat and tidy , I just wouldn't have fit in
←Rate | 10-23-2010 16:50 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon driving and texting on his new cell pho......sweet merciful Jesus , He's heading right toward us .....freaking maniac
←Rate | 11-23-2010 19:06 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you play a Nickleback song backwards you will hear Satanic messages, even worse, if you play it forward you'll hear Nickleback
←Rate | 01-04-2012 21:33 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just walked up to a guuy with an eye patch and asked him was it really fun and games at that point
←Rate | 02-05-2013 21:35 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon She's been pounded more times than Johnny Bench's catchers mitt
←Rate | 10-13-2011 22:12 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just wrote a new song "I Can't Get Over a Girl Like You So Get Up and Answer The Phone Yourself"
←Rate | 06-18-2011 21:34 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  


   messageicon somedays it hardly seems worth it to chew through the leather straps
←Rate | 04-19-2012 00:29 by Banjaxed Comments (0)  




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