abbybaby34 Funny Status Messages
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At work, when you don't know what to do, just walk fast and look worried.
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Life's too short to wake up in a bad mood- I save mine until I get to work.
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Whenever I don't hear from someone in a while I think, "Oh, sh$t They found out."
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I just got a text from a wrong number that said "I think my ex is stalking my friends"... so I replied back "No I'm not."
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I can no longer "drop it like it's hot", so I "squat like it's warm".
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I'm not shy. I'm just holding back my awesomeness so I don't intimidate you.
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Drinking doesn't make me post better Facebook status updates; it just makes me not care what you think of them...
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I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be "Nobody" so when I see stupid crap people post, I can "Like" it. And it will say "Nobody Likes This"
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If you can't afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don't know where you are!
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When did "wear something green" turn into "dress like an idiot?"
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Deleting all emails as they come in without reading them. Like a boss.
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I wish some people could actually see their personality when they look in a mirror.
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Dear Facebook: Stop being like my mom and suggesting people for me to be friends with.
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we all know "watch a movie" means "I wanna be in the dark with you"
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If I worked at a restaurant on Valentine's Day I would put a fake engagement ring in every girl's drink.
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I'm waiting till the iPad 1,473 comes out because it will fly you to the moon while you surf the internet.
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I have life moments when all I can do is stop and say "Seriously?"
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Instead of celebrating Valentine's Day this year, I'm celebrating Discount Chocolate Tuesday.
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Who would have thought that giving an actor with a history of drug addiction $2 million an episode would have turned out badly?
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If you have kids, your life is kids. If you don't, your life is going out to eat and buying electronics.
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