Kisstopher Funny Status Messages
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Look, I only want what's best for me.
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People who don't like bacon can never be trusted.
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Ghetto Word Of The Day: DELIGHT Usage: She gotta big ass but her face is trash so when we do it I gotta turnoff delight.
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My girlfriend went home to visit her mother today. Or as I refer to it. Her "b!tch refresher course".
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Last night I sprayed under my kitchen sink for roaches with this cheap Chinese-made insect killer. Not only did it leave them alive, they kept me up all night talking.
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If naps had a taste, I bet they'd be so delicious.
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You say alcohol abuse, I say this alcohol is getting exactly what it deserves.
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You can be an educated, intelligent, productive person and still smoke and enjoy pot.
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All of a sudden I love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
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If you're crazy and you know it, shake your meds.
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I just wrote "your" instead of "you're", now I have to knock out my teeth and live in a trailer.
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When you're waiting for him in his T-shirt, it's cute. But when he's waiting for you in your T-shirt, it's time to start worrying.
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The difference between "INVOLVED" & "COMMITTED" is like an Egg & Bacon Breakfast, the chicken was INVOLVED and the pig was COMMITTED.
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Fellas: Don't build a new ship out of old wood. Upgrading your woman with plastic surgery doesn't change the fact that her genes are ugly.
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People disregard you when they don't want you, but they are quick to acknowledge you when they need your help.
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You without me is like a Tim Burton movie without Johnny Depp.
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I've been ignored by better.
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There is a 100% chance I will never be depressed again if I could get myself a pet Panda.
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Law of Reverse Dynamics: When a man becomes rich, he becomes naughty When a woman becomes naughty, she becomes rich.
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Arguing with a woman is like bringing a knife to a gun fight, then repeatedly stabbing yourself with it.
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